Really Tough Decision Made

Today sucks.

For a while now, my boyfriend and I have been trying to figure out the best way to make everything nice in the house, while having a dog who is used to doing what he wants. Seemed it didn't matter what we did, we were fighting a losing battle.

See, my pup is a chewer. And he has a little bit of a Napoleon complex. So if another dog walked by our bay window, Jax would run to it, put his paws on the little ledge at the bottom, bark, claw into the wood, and sometimes he really wanted to show how tough he was and would chew on the window sill. Then he'd run to the sliding door (also made of wood) and do the same thing.

He also had a problem with "going" in the basement. He's smart enough to know that he can't go on the carpet, because that I can't clean up. But the basement is all wood flooring which is easier to clean, so he'd go there.

My guy would try to discipline Jax whenever he'd see the window, but Jax wouldn't even go near the window when we were home! So disciplining him wasn't that effective. And we'd gate the stairs to the basement, but then we had to use that gate on the window... so he was back to going to the basement. It got to the point where we were kenneling him all day, so he couldn't do something that would get him in trouble.

Next issue: My dog is a SOCIAL dog. He loves to be around other dogs and play. Well we just had him. So he was home alone all day. Then we'd get home from working and just want to relax for the 3 hours or so before we go to bed. Now, since Jax was in his kennel all day, we didn't want to put him in there at night too. So he was sleeping in our bed. Which meant that I wasn't sleeping anymore.

Being 6 months pregnant, it's hard enough to sleep I hear. I am a really light sleeper on top of that.

So today I did something I know is the right decision: I took Jax to my mom's. She's going to keep him now. And it breaks my heart.

I cried when I dropped him off. I cried when I walked in and he wasn't there to greet me. I cried when my boyfriend's telling me we'll figure out a way to keep Jax--even going so far as to promise to get another dog if it'll make me and Jax happy. I know he's just saying that because he doesn't want to see me sad. Because we both know another dog isn't the answer.

I know I did the right thing. Because it's not the selfish thing. See, if I were being selfish, I would have kept him.... because he made me happy. Keeping him would make ME happy. But Jax wouldn't be happy. I could tell he was lonely. That's why he acted out probably. And my guy wouldn't be happy. Not really. Because he's working really hard on our home. Making it nice. Putting touches around so it feels like a home we can bring Emma to. And with Jax chewing and scratching and everything, well my guy was getting frustrated. I understand his frustration. It's completely valid.

Doesn't mean letting go of my dog is any easier. It should be. I should be happy knowing I made the best decision for him. But I miss him soo much already. I've had him for 4 years and love him so much. It's because I love him that much that I'm not driving over to my mom's RIGHT NOW to get him (even though my bf said I should/could).  

So I know today--and tomorrow, and probably the next day--are going to royally suck. 

He's a cool dude!

The look I got every time I asked if he wanted to go for a walk.

At Christmas

Me and Jax

He's seriously smiled for the camera!