Inspired by a silly video

Sometimes the simplest things inspire greatness.

Okay, that may be a tad hyperbolic. But still.

This morning I was scrolling around on social media, looking at things other people were sharing, laughing at cute photos, kept scrolling past the dumb ones... when I saw something really "interesting." It was a video titled Why Mom's get NOTHING DONE!  Well of course I had to watch that!! Here's the link. Please let me know if you can't open it for some reason) 

Why Mom's get NOTHING DONE! 

Okay. Now that you've watched let me ask you... HOW TRUE IS THAT?!? Seriously. The whole time I was watching it, I was like: "Yep." 

"Uh-huh." 

"Oh that ALWAYS happens."

"WHAT? Them too?"

Then I realized this is EVERY mom's daily existence. We are always being judged by how our homes look. Or feel like we are being judged. We try so hard to keep the place clean, but the toddler or child/children (or grown ups who act like children! haha) find a way to undo every thing you just did. Right after you just did it!

Welp, I saw that video at 6:15am. I was out of bed and determined to have a clean house, even if just until Emma woke up. In 90 minutes, I had laundry going, dishwasher unloaded and reloaded, living room completely picked up and tidied, kitchen tidied, trash out, bathrooms cleaned, Emma's room picked up, rest of the day's TO DO LIST written out. AND I was able to sit down and enjoy my clean home for a bit. 

**Insert mental picture of me doing the happy dance!***

Granted, there are a few dished soaking in the sink. My bed's not totally made. and I still have laundry to fold and put away. BUT I am so happy with how my home looks right now! I could have someone walk in and I wouldn't be embarrassed.

People always tell me I'm too hard on myself about the house. Everyone who walks in says it looks great, especially with a toddler ruling the roost. But I just feel like it looks dirty. And I hate that. My guy is constantly telling me if it's not 100% cleaned up, people understand. Everyone knows I work full time. Everyone knows I have a toddler who loves to play and "clean up" and "organize." They get that for a while, until Emma goes to school, the house will probably have a toy in every room and the laundry may not be caught up. 

AND IT'S OKAY!

But I just remember my Grammy and Pappy always telling us "A place for everything and everything in its place." I remember having to clean my room before I went anywhere. I remember doing chores to help out. I remember "Never leave a room empty-handed. Something can always be taken to the room you are heading to... to help clean up." And "If you don't make a mess, you don't ever really have to clean." So I am always doing that. If I leave the living room, I take the stray toy and put it near the stairs to take to Emma's room when I'm next heading upstairs. When I leave the kitchen, I take the coat hanging on the chair and hang it in the closet. These were and are always things I never thought about but just did.

Okay. Now that the "heavy" stuff is lain out, time for some fun Emma stories. So. Emma actually loves to help with the laundry. She will walk downstairs with me, go into the laundry room, and say "I help." Then I hand her the clothes from the washer to put in the dryer. Or I hand her the dirty clothes and let her put them in the washer. She loves it!!

The dishwasher is still a struggle. She is always wanting to unload the dirty dishes as I put them in. It never fails!

Aside from housework and chores (haha), Emma is getting so big in everything. She is clearly over half my height now. She talks and communicates almost anything she needs to. Now she can walk up to me and say "Mommy, I happy. You happy?" And even if I was beyond frustrated/irritated/annoyed/stressed/tired before that, suddenly I am SOOO happy. She tells my mom's dogs "Hush dog-dog" when they start barking. She loves the scented wax bars I sell. When I get new ones in, she comes up and says "I's mells, mommy." And she will smell every one of them. She even indicates which ones she likes and which ones she doesn't. 

Every day is a new adventure. A new struggle met with new resolutions. A new dawn met with new beginnings. I know tomorrow--oh, who am I kidding, probably in the next 30 minutes--my house will be destroyed and I will want to shun from the world because of it. (Hyperbole again). But for now, I am calm, in a clean house, with a sleeping baby.

Life is Good!

Somebody's Daughter... Somebody's Mother

The other day I watched my daughter sleep. It was early in the morning and I still had a little bit before I had to start getting ready for work, so I just brushed my fingers through her hair and watched her sleep. It was amazing. And somewhere in that time, I had a "moment": I was looking at someone's future mommy. Someday my little girl will look down at her baby and be filled with the same love I was at that moment.

The same love I have every day.

The same look and love that my mom had when she held me as a baby. And her mother to her, and her mother to her... It's probably been the same for every mother of a daughter for as far back as... well since the first daughter was born.

I haven't had a son, so I don't know what that feels like, but MAN! was that a powerful moment for me.

***
Mommies of little girls have this "whole 'nother thing" going on. We are mothers of mothers. We are the givers of life to those who will give life. We hold our daughters and love them with everything we have. But we know that someday someone will love them too and make them mommies. Someday--not today, but someday--we will be outranked by their son or daughter.

That makes me happy more than it makes me sad.

It makes me a little sad to know I will not always be her favorite person, or her most important person. I mean, yeah, I knew from the second I found out I was having a girl I was in for the biggest rollercoaster ride EVER! I knew she would "hate" me in her teenage years when I "just wouldn't understand," when I "just don't get it." Because yeah, I've never been there! haha I have dreaded those days since I heard "it's a girl," even knowing they are so far off in the future but will be here in the blink of an eye. So it's not like I ever expected to be her favorite person for her whole entire life or anything like that. But I gotta admit, it's different thinking all together to think about how there will be these other people who will love your child as-much-as-you-in-a-completely-different-way type thing.

Lawd I don't even know if this is making sense at this point!!

I'm a religious woman--not a church-goer but still religious--and I remember from my Sunday School days the scripture which says (paraphrased): "And one day he will leave his father and mother, and she will leave her father and mother, and they will join as one family." It's as it should be. And as it will be. And that makes me so very happy.

Eventually I know Emma will find someone to love her with every fiber in themselves. I know because that's how I feel about her daddy. From the second I saw him, I knew he was the end and beginning for me. No lie; from the very first second. I had to wait for our time to be the right time and at varying points over those years I was scared I might be wrong; but I wasn't. I have found the one and only person I am supposed to be with forever. I can't believe how lucky I am. But then again, I can. Because I know it wasn't luck for me and it won't be luck for Emma. She will find her Prince Charming, her Beast, her soul mate/other half/true love. She will find this person and build a life separate from us. She will become someone's mommy. And she will THEN, and maybe only then, know exactly how much I love her.

I love my mom but I don't think I ever "got" how much she loved me until I held Emma in my arms that very first time. And maybe even then I didn't really get it because each day I wake up I think how much more and differently I love my daughter.

I'm not special. Not really. I'm the same in the most basic ways possible as every mother before me. I love my child. I love her more than I love myself. I work to make her proud, to provide for her. I want to be the best for my child. That's it. Every single true mother is the same at the core. "Egg donors"--those people who give birth but aren't mothers, not really...well that's different. -----Staying positive now...

This was a very long, almost babbling post that may very well embarrass my daughter one day. But that's okay! Because that moment was such a heavy moment for me. "I am looking at someone's mommy." That's heavy!!  But still, it was the best moment of that day. To know with every bit of certainty that my daughter will be loved by her child. Maybe this is a tad (sarcastic much?) presumptuous, but that's just how I felt, how I feel.

I thanked God right then and there for giving me my daughter, and for the future children she can have.


**Side note: Before I get a whole bunch of responses about how she may not want children, how she may love someone who won't/can't give her children, how she may not be able to have children; I hear you. I hear the pain of those who can't conceive and those who struggle with their relationships being "different," etc. I'm not suggesting Emma MUST have children for me to love her or whatever. I'm simply sharing a moment I had with my daughter. And for that moment, my thoughts were as above. My mind felt cleared and empty and whole--maybe? I don't know what it was. I just wanted to share this moment with my friends and family as it was such a profound moment for me. I apologize here and now if I hurt or offend anyone, as that is NEVER my intention. Please take this post for what it is, at face value. Thank you.

We have a walker

Yes, I am way way late on posting this. I kept meaning to post the video to YouTube so that I could then put it on here... but I kept forgetting. So here it is:

Emma had been taking some small steps for a while. Like "Step Step Fall." Then she got up to "Step Step Step Fall." We were all excited when we got up to "Step Step Step Step....Step Fall." HAHAH

But then the magical day of May 23rd happened. She was playing in the kitchen. Just standing and playing with my dish towels. Suddenly I looked and she was walking. And still walking. And then walking some more! She walked from our kitchen to the living room without stopping!! I consider that to be the day she really started walking. Because that is the day our lives really changed. Now we have to be on uber-alert because she is on the MOVE!

So here you go. Here is some fun video of the day Emma became an official and bona fide walker!

Seriously God? Just stop now

I'm done. I can't take anymore losses. In Emma's VERY short life, she has lost so many people already. At two and a half months she lost 2 great-grandmas. My Mamaw Pearl and her Daddy's stepdad's mom. This past January she lost her great-grandpa Stan. And today she lost her great-grandpa: my Pappy.

This morning started out so good too! That's what is surreal. I mean, we woke up. I made her Daddy a full breakfast of oatmeal and eggs; normally he gets oatmeal and a protein shake because we are strapped for time. I packed his lunch. Then we got to sit and talk for about 20 minutes before he left. Right as he was about to leave, Emma woke up. I brought her down and she saw her Daddy and started flailing her arms and laughing, and had the biggest smile ever. She gave him the biggest hug and laid her head on his chest. When I went to take her so he could leave, she started bawling and clutching at him. It was the cutest sight ever.

Anyways, fast forward 45 minutes. I get a text from my dad telling me to call him ASAP. Honestly, I know when I saw "Text Message: Dad" pop up on the screen. I prayed I was wrong, but I knew. Then I called... and he could barely choke out the words. I broke down immediately. I just kept saying "But I talked to him two days ago. I talked to him two days ago!"

See, Wednesday night I was getting dinner and called my Grammy and talked to her. At the end of the call she said my Pappy wanted to talk to me. He asked when we were going to come see him. I told him with my new job I was going to have to work out the schedule with my boss and Emma's daddy was going to have to take his vacation days, but we were planning on going to see them next month--when the weather got nicer. He said that would be nice. Then he told  me a few stories (he was such a story-teller) and we ended the call. I went home that night and told Emma's Daddy we needed to start thinking about taking that trip next month.

Too Late.
Always too late.

I'm so mad. I can't help it. I'm mad at God for taking all these people away from my daughter. With all the terrible, horrible, good for nothings out there---WHY TAKE THESE PEOPLE???? These were good people. People who loved their families. People who made us laugh and smile and want to go see them again.

I'm so MAD!! I'm mad that Emma will NEVER get to make memories with these people. Am I sad for myself? Of course. I'm human and selfish. BUT. I am so sad and mad and frustrated for my daughter. She will NEVER EVER have memories with these amazing people. At least I have memories with them. Why take that chance away from her???


***
If there is one good thing to be taken from this, it's: At least Emma got to spend some time with each of these people before they left us. She saw each of them once. Only once. But at least I will have the memories of each of those visits. Memories and stories to share with her as she grows.

"Dada," "Mama," and so much more

When Emma was born, everyone always said how fast time would fly and how she would be doing this or that before I knew it. At first that wasn't really the case. I mean, she rolled from belly to back pretty fast, but I honestly feel like I was able to savor all those moments with her. They were spread out pretty well. Now though, it's like we hit a new milestone everyday!

• She's Talking! Her first word was "Dada." Of course this was after a very long night where Mommy was up with her the entire night. haha Now she not only babbles and "gaga's" but she will throw in real words. She even said her first sentence: "Mama...numnum." Hungry? haha

• She has this little "trick" that she learned. At first we would put our hands over our mouths and make the "Whoo-whoo" sound like little Indians. This cracked her up. Then her Daddy showed her she could do it herself. She is so proud of herself whenever she does it. And she will just randomly start doing it and will keep on for EVER!

• She is crawling up a storm! She started crawling one day right after I started working. Now she is a monster ARMY crawler. She is fast and determined.

  

• She is eating "big people" food. She loves when we go to Target and get a pretzel to split. She gets a scrambled egg for breakfast. She gets a little "baby bagel" sometimes. She gets softened/cooked carrots, chicken, tortillas.... We are trying her out on everything a little at a time.
• I mentioned that Emma is crawling. I guess I should also mention she is trying to WALK!! One day I was at home with her and we were playing around. She had received a Sit-To-Stand Walker for Christmas, so I stood her up and put her hands on it. She stood there just upright and like a big girl for a while. Then she tried to take a step and fell. (I caught her; it's ok! lol) That same night, her Daddy did the same thing. Only this time she started walking no problem!! 

After that, she learned that she can pull herself up with the couch.  Now she can "walk" around the couch while holding on. I kind of always figured she wouldn't be much of a crawler and go right to walking. Looks like I was right!

I think that's about it for now. I kept meaning to finish this post but there's just always something going on nowadays. With work and Emma and everything else, our days are full!! Anyways. Time to wrap this up! Have a great day!

It's a whole new ball game!

Okay, I am SEVERELY delayed in reporting on the new things going on with Emma. I wanted to make sure I finished up my little mini-series uninterrupted and that put this on hold. But here we go:

• Emma can crawl!! She started crawling on Wednesday, February 5th. Her Nonna was watching her and I guess they were practicing or doing tummy time or something like that. Anyways, I was pulling into their driveway when I got a text from my boyfriend. It was video of Emma crawling to a little duck. I immediately ran into their house and made Emma crawl again! haha  

•  Emma got the flu. We noticed on Monday of last week that she was a little less active than normal, but didn't think too much of it. No, that's sort of a lie. She basically refused to sleep that night without me holding her--which meant I got ZERO sleep. (Not good when you have to go to work and you are still new). So I actually took her temperature and it was fine. So the next day I took it again and nothing. I dropped her off with her Nonna and Grandpa. Later that afternoon I get a text saying she tested positive for the flu. MAN did I feel terrible. But, I did everything I was supposed to do. And she seemed fine, not fever, no throwing up, none of that. And even after she tested positive for the flu, she still didn't ACT like she had it. She was really clinging, but that was the only real indicator she didn't feel all that great.

• Emma is so in tuned to what is going on around her. She now looks for things when she drops them. And she remembers things. Like the doctor. Now Emma only sees her doctor when we take her for her shots--so not all that often. BUT, she had to go see her that Tuesday she got the flu. And--from what I've been told--Emma remembered the doc and did not like her! haha. They tell me she was playful with the Assistant and Tech person but when the doc walked in-BAM! Baby girl shifted and grabbed ahold of Nonna's hair and wouldn't let go. She wanted NOTHING to do with the doc!

• We are having some very fun moments with her. She is so smart that she puts things together now in her mind. Like her bottle. She knows that when Mommy makes her bottle, I add water to a clear container, then a powder; shake and give it to her. Thing is: Matt makes his morning protein shakes the same way! And it's vanilla flavored! So whenever Emma sees Daddy make his morning shake, she gets all piffy! haha She starts "yelling" and batting her hands on the high chair. Her eyes start to bulge out even!

• She is "talking" up a storm now!! She just babbles away. Telling us all about her day. What she wants. What she doesn't want. You just know there's a story going on and she's trying to get it out as best she can. I simply cannot wait to hear the stories she's got to tell. As smart as she is, I can bet there will be a few doozies in our future!

I have gone back to work. It's only part-time, and it's in the city; but I really am enjoying it. 3 days a week I get to go and interact with adults who aren't family. (My sister works there, but that's only one out of 10 or so people. As opposed to the vice versa being true when I am at home! lol) Anyways, I am doing what I was doing at the other office, but I get to take on a little more responsibility too. It's nice working with a smaller office and feeling like you are appreciated. Sure, there's stress to do a good job and go above what they are expecting, but that's true of all jobs. And yes, I have 3 long days (when you factor in the drive time). But it's only 3 days a week. I get 4-day weekends with my baby and my boyfriend every week.

I think Emma will be walking in the new few weeks, but not yet. Seriously. She now puts her hands on the ground and "walks them up" until she's in an inverted V. Then she's like: "Ummm, what do I do now?" haha It's really funny. And kind of sad. Because she's JUST learned to crawl and now she wants to WALK? Already?

Okay, well that wraps up this post. Sorry it took so long. Hopefully I'll be able to get back into the groove of things (or into a new groove with work and all) and can do better about posting.

G'NIGHT!

6 month check up

Emma had her 6 month check-up yesterday. And Boy, is she getting big now!! And so much personality. She knows what she wants and what she likes. And WHO she likes. haha

So we walked in for her check up and the nurse took us back to our room. Emma smiled and played with her. Let us take her height and weight and measure her head. No problem. By the way: She weighs 17 pounds, 3.4 ounces putting her in the 67th percentile (she weighs more than 67% of other 6 month olds). She's 26.5 inches long and in the 69th percentile. And her head is 43 cm in circumference, putting her in the 60th percentile.

Anyways, so we played on the table until the doctor came in. We had fun with the paper they lay down on it, tearing it up in places and scrunching it up--making a lot of noise. Laughing, playing with our toys. She was just such a good baby.

Then the doctor walked in. And the SECOND Doc opened that door, Emma had this leery look on her face. She grabbed a hold of my shirt a little tighter with one hand and pulled my neck to her with the other. She didn't take her eyes off the doctor at all. And she refused to smile or laugh. Nothing. Stone Cold Emma is what we coulda called her!

Then the doc asks if I want to sit in a chair with Emma while she looks at her. I told her we should be okay on the table. We had just been playing on it. Nope. I was COMPLETELY wrong. When her feet touched that paper, those tears started pouring. And the screaming and crying and...ugh it was miserable. And that wasn't even the hardest part of the appointment. So we moved to the chair and I held Emma while the doc looked her over. She offered up her necklace for Emma to play with while she examined her. Emma took it and yanked as hard as she could. Then she grabbed for the stethoscope. I had to warn her about the teeth because Emma tried to BITE HER! Emma was full of fire, I tell ya!

The doc said everything is great. Told me to up her "solid foods" from 1 feeding a day to 3, stick to yellow/orange veggies before moving on to green veggies, and just keep at what we're doing.

Then we waited for the mean nurse to come in. The one with the shots. I hate that person's job. The lady is nice enough, but Emma knows her and what she means: Bad news! Emma was inconsolable during the shots. They don't take too long, but it truly feels like an eternity. I used my hair to cover Emma's face like a tent so she could pull and play with it; she always does that when she needs to soothe herself. I don't know if it helped, but at least she couldn't see what was being done and try to kick the lady like last time.

The after effects weren't as bad as the last two times. Not sure if it's because we nipped it in the bud by giving her some Tylenol a few hours after to prevent the very mild fever that was already starting from getting worse. Basically she was 97.6 at the doctor's at 10am and 98.9 at home at 2pm, so I gave her the small end of the allowable dose. She didn't fuss near as bad, unless I tried to put her down. Then she wasn't having it. So we ended up spending most of yesterday on the couch being vegetables. Not doing much. She slept through the night fairly well also.

Okay, so that's it for now. Hoping she has a good day today. She usually is fine the second day, so I'm not too worried.

Christmas Comforts

I feel like Christmas is so much better when you are surrounded by traditions and heirlooms. I love opening up my storage container of Christmas things. Pulling each ornament out one by one. Placing them on the tree. Reliving all the memories I have with that particular one. Going back to the container and doing it all over again with the next one.

Last year I bought a beautiful white Tree Skirt for our brand new Christmas Tree. I loved it. Until my dog peed all over it and I had to throw it out. There was no saving it. So this year I opened my storage container and relived all my memories with the ornaments. But I was a little sad I didn't have a tree skirt. It just doesn't feel like the tree and presents are complete unless they are on a skirt! I went to my favorite store and tried to find a nice one. But the cheapest (and I mean CHEAPEST!) one was "on sale" for $30. I didn't love it and it wasn't worth that much money. So I went home and figured "Maybe next year."

I happened to talk to my mom after that. She mentioned she hadn't put up her Christmas tree in quite a few years.She said I could have the tree skirt she had under her tree every year for as long as I can remember. It was the tree skirt my Uncle Timmy's mom had made for her. Now I know my uncle didn't make it, but seeing it under my tree this year just made me feel like he was here this year.

I'm pretty sure this Tree Skirt is about 20 years old!

 And then there are the ornaments my guy's mom gave me. They are an assortment of Disney Christmas ornaments. She had been collecting them for years for my guy. So it was really special to put those on our tree.

There is one other tradition I always loved. I loved getting my dad an ornament every year. I looked and looked until I found just the right one. I haven't gotten him one in a while because he doesn't really "do" the tree, so I switched to giving him books. But I still loved it. And this year we received quite a few "Baby's First Christmas" ornaments that I was able to put on our tree. Because I don't want to  over-do it, and I want to truly appreciate them, I didn't get yet another one. I figure next year we can add to it.

My crazy life

Things keep getting more and more crazy around here now-a-days!! Must be the holiday season, because I just can't believe how frazzled I've felt lately!

Emma is trying "solids" for the first time. So that's all kinds of interesting. She isn't fond of carrots or sweet potatoes, but she LOVES peas!! I couldn't get them to her fast enough. She would just start yelling at me for taking too long to add food to the spoon and get it to her. I had to keep the bowl basically right by her face and kind of shovel it in! LOL But seriously. The doc said we should stay with the "yellow" veggies for right now. Carrots, squash, sweet potatoes. That kind of thing. But Emma just doesn't like them. Which kind of makes sense because she wouldn't let me have ANYTHING sweet when I was pregnant with her. I'm hoping she learns to like all veggies. I think we're on a good path though, because I don't know too many babies that like peas....

Emma is also teething. So that's TONS of fun. Not. Poor thing is soo uncomfortable. And there's not too much I can do to make it go away. We have tons of those teether things in the freezer. Heck, I even put a binkie in the freezer hoping it would help!! She is just so pitiful. She wants to be held, thinking Mommy will make it all better. And I want nothing more than to take that pain away. Being a baby is TOUGH! Sure, you get every one doing things for you, but your body is fighting you all the time. And you can't make it better. You can't tell anyone what exactly hurts. It's just not fair!

Emma is already trying to crawl. Tonight she started the "rock"--that stage where she kind of has herself up on her arms and legs and is rocking back and forth like she wants to crawl. And she is SO MUCH like her dad. She gets so frustrated when she doesn't accomplish something right away. Okay, maybe that's like me too. LOL But you can just see it in her eyes, in the way she sets her mouth all firm and stern. She WANTS TO CRAWL, Dag-um it!

And yes, Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Which means Christmas is close. Which means it will be That. Much. Harder getting out of my neighborhood with the mall traffic. And we have so many people left to buy for. I don't want to put it off until it's too late, but there just never seems to be enough time in the day to get everything done.

So those are all the crazy new things in my life right now. And let me tell you...

I Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way!! 

I Love My Life. 

I Love My Boyfriend & Daughter. 

I Love My Family & Friends. 

I have an amazing life that I am so grateful for. I am thankful I get to sleep surrounded by people who mean the most to me. When I go to bed at night, I have my guy on my right, sleeping soundly (& snoring LOUDLY! LOL). And my daughter in her Rock N Play by my bed on my left. I am literally surrounded by Love every night. And nothing could ever beat that.

This is me at like 6-ish months. I think Emma looks a lot like me here!

Things Emma can do now

I can't believe my baby is already 4 months old! Time is flying by. I don't know whether I am happy about this or devastated! Probably a little of both.

I mean, I love watching her learn new things and discover new things. But at the same time, every day older she gets, every new thing she learns, takes her one day further from my "baby." I mean, she's already developing her own definite personality.

But anyways, here are some of the new things Emma does now:

• She puts EVERYTHING in her mouth. Seriously. Everything. If she can get even a little piece of something near her mouth, she will try to get it IN her mouth! Makes me kinda nervous.
• She sits in a high chair. And likes it! We set ours up last night so she could sit in it while we carved pumpkins. And she loved it. She didn't fuss at all. She played and was content the whole time.
• She smiles all the time. I mean, she's always been a fairly happy baby. But now there are things that just crack her up. She still loves the popping noise and the clacking noise, but she is discovering all sorts of sounds and deciding which she likes and which she doesn't.
• She love music. She will grab for my phone when I put the music on so it is closer to her. (And then she'll try to put it in her mouth! LOL) She also calms down immediately when I put the music on. 
• She will try to "lift" herself up. Seriously. When we had her in her stroller while we were trick or treating, I went to grab her from it at the first house. She kind of pushed herself away from the stroller and tried to get up. She's done it a few times too. Usually when someone is trying to get her to hold her. She likes to make that as easy on a person as possible! LOL
• I really think she is teething, or starting to at least.
• She tried "real food" for the first time. And I have to say that it felt amazing to be the one to make her food. It was simple: I just cooked 2 sweet potatoes, added a tiny bit of butter and salt/pepper, and used the baby bullet until it was mushy. She's not loving it yet, but I hear that's normal. Tomorrow we're going to get some peas and carrots, maybe some other potatoes. I think she may not like sweets, honestly. I couldn't tolerate anything sweet when I was pregnant, so that may have something to do with it. We'll see. We'll also be getting some Rice Cereal and maybe even those cookie things, just to have on hand. 

This is my Shocked face!

Another Week In The Books!

We are finally starting to settle into a routine here!
Daddy and I wake up around 4:30am so I can see him off to work by 5am. Then I try to switch the laundry over, start/unload the dishwasher, pick up a little before 6. That's when I DEFINITELY have to start getting ready for work (why does that sound weird to say--"Start getting ready..." Sorry, tangent!) Then I have to be done by 6:30 so I can wake Emma up if she's still sleeping. Get her dressed and ready to go, check all of our bags one more time, and head to either her Nona's or her Mamaw's for the day. I work over 10 hours, come home, try to get dinner ready, eat, give Emma a bath and get her ready for bed. She's usually asleep by 9:30-ish so my guy and I can watch a little bit of this TV series we found on Netflix. And then we go to sleep so we can do it all over again the next day. Shew!! Same thing Monday through Thursday.

By the end of the day on Thursday, my brain is all mush. I don't want to think about anything serious for as long as possible! lol

Fridays are my "catch-up" days. Where I really do all the laundry (even get it folded and put away), the dishes, vacuum, and any projects I remembered need to get done. Because on Saturdays we ALWAYS have something to do. Never fails. There is always a place to be, someone to see... And Sundays are spent getting ready for Monday. My life is a routine and sometimes that is a good thing, and sometimes I just wish....

Anyways. Here's what's new with Emma. She is seriously getting so big now! She is doing amazing in her Jumperoo. She found herself in the mirror and my phone. I have some fun pictures of her playing with both!

She is also standing so much now (with help, of course). But the thing is: She likes to stand. If we are holding her hands, she will pull herself up to stand. And she can hold that for a really long time!! She's on track with everything she should be: motor-skill wise, "verbally," emotionally, everything. She's even ahead of the curve on some things--like the standing and neck control.

She's an amazing baby. I love coming home to her and getting even those few minutes/hours with her before bed. I love my Fridays with her. I am a lucky momma!

My Letter To Emma

Dear Emma,
   Today you are 53 days old. I'm sitting here holding you while you sleep. You are so perfect to me. You are looking less & less like the baby I gave birth to and more & more like your own little person. I am so excited to watch you grow into this person you will become! But I also want to remember everything about the baby you were.

Your hair: You were born with a head *FULL* of blonde hair! Everyone who sees you thinks you have to be older than I tell them just because of all your hair! And it is the exact same shade as your Daddy's. Trust me. I had him hold you up so your heads were side by side; I couldn't tell which hair belonged to whom!

Your eyes: Now *those* you got from me! I have to say, that might be the only thing, but honey they look good on you! They are dark blue/grey like mine are and they are shaped just like my dad's-your Poppy's. You didn't like to show them off when you were born, which is why people were always saying "Show me your eyes." And why they always "Awww'd" when you would open them. It was just so rare. Now-a-days though, you are alert. You actually fight sleep sometimes just to see what's going on. I love looking at your eyes because I see someone who is so inquisitive.

Your mouth & tongue: You and your tongue!! Honey, from the FIRST MINUTE you were born, you were playing with that tongue. You stick it out at people. You have it "stuck" to the roof of your mouth. When you sleep, you have a little bit sticking out, every time. It is adorable! Now-a-days you smile the biggest smile I have EVER seen on a baby. You laugh and talk all the time. Except when I put the camera on you. Then you clam up some. I have a few videos of you talking away, but not as many as I could. Because you'll be chattering away and I'll think it's so cute and get my camera out; the second I hit "RECORD" you stop! haha

Your hands & arms: Baby girl, those things have been your comfort since you were in my belly. Every time we would go to get an ultrasound and try to get a picture of you, you would have your hands either in front of your face or right by it. It was the same once you were born. I actually had to tell the nurse when she swaddled you to leave your hands out, or you would actually fuss more! When we brought you home, we noticed you would do this little "praying" thing with them. I made sure the photographer at your 1week session got a shot of it. You still have at least one hand up by your face when you sleep, but now you are reaching out for things more. You also have such a STRONG grip! From the minute you were born, everyone commented on how strong you were. You could pull yourself up by wrapping your hand around someone's finger. You have the LONGEST fingers too! But they are still so delicate. And you have perfect fingernails. You could be a hand model with how perfectly shaped your fingers and fingernails are. :)

Your legs & feet: Baby girl, from the day you were born you had some BIG feet! But it was your legs that everyone noticed. See baby, you had the strongest legs I have ever seen on a baby. Even when you were in the hospital, you would use those legs and push off of people. The day we brought you home, we put you on your play mat. Within a minute or so, you had scooched up all on your own. You Daddy was right beside you on the floor and he kept saying he had never seen that before. He was so proud of his strong baby girl. He still is. You rolled over from your belly to your back at 3weeks, just using your legs!

 Your favorite things: You love fans. I mean love LOVE fans! If there is a ceiling fan nearby, you will find it. And stare. And laugh. We don't know why, but they crack you up! I have so many videos of you looking up & laughing at the ceiling fan. Your daddy & I have even taken to calling every fan "Your Fan." Ha ha

You also like to swing. You didn't at first but now it makes you happy. Your big swing puts you right to sleep. It has a mobile and lights which you stare at.

You can't wait for bath time. I don't know how, but you seem to know when it is almost 9pm because you start to fuss. The second I turn on the bath water, you calm down. If I leave the bathroom with you to set up for bed, you get fussy again. But baby, once I put you in the tub you are in HEAVEN!! You kick and splash and laugh and coo. You love having your hair washed. But you also know when it's been about 15minutes. You know after your bath you get a "baby massage" where I massage the Johnson's Lavender bath time lotion into your legs and arms and hands and feet. You laugh the most when it tickles your feet. You also love to eat right after your bath and massage. I think you inherited my love of routines because if this gets messed up you get fussy.

You love spending time with Daddy. Even early on you knew when he left and would get upset. Sometimes I had to call him and put him on speakerphone so that you could hear his voice. It was the only thing that would calm you down. Baby girl, you are so much like your Daddy. I can't wait to see how your personality develops. If you grow more like him, or adopt some of my traits.

So here you go: my letter to you so you always know the amazing baby you were. Happy Day 53!

Love, Mommy & Daddy

53 Days Old!

7 weeks!

Yesterday Emma turned 7 weeks. I cannot believe that much time has already gone by. It means I only have 2 more weeks at home with her before I go back to work. Every night, I look down at her as she eats and mentally tick off one more day on the calendar that I have with her. She's so peaceful when she eats too, that it becomes harder and harder each day.

Her reflux is getting more under control. She gets colic drops once a day, about midday. We finally got her reflux meds, so she gets those twice a day: morning and evening. We aren't using the gas drops *near* as much either. I don't know if this is temporary or not but I will take this reprieve! I love spending time with my happy-go-lucky baby girl!! Thing is... she is JUST LIKE HER FATHER!! LOL

She looks like him. Still. I swear, you hold her head up next to his and you can't tell which hair belongs to whom! Her ears are his. Her lips are his. And those feet are monsters!! She does have my eyes though. They are dark blue/grey like mine and they have my dad's shape which is nice to see.

She also has to be moving, just like her daddy. Me? I could sit for hours and read a book or watch movies...just relaxing. Now I couldn't do this all the time, but yeah... I could definitely do that every once in a while. Emma though...She can't stay still. She's so inquisitive. She wants to know what is going on all the time. I think that's why she fights sleep sometimes. She doesn't want to miss anything. Sometimes she makes her daddy and I walk around the house or yard with her. She can't be still. Some people call her a diva because she doesn't want to be put down, but I think it's more that she can't get-up-and-go on her own yet. When she can, I have a feeling she is going to be getting into everything.

First night in the cradle. Such a big girl!

We tried her in her handmade cradle this week too. The jury's still out on this one. See, if I can get her into a sound sleep after her bath and bedtime feeding, then she does fine in there. However, in the middle of the night (or 3am) when she wakes up to eat again, she really doesn't want to be in the cradle. I've tried taking her to her room and rocking her until she sleeps, but she won't do it. I'll try feeding her and rocking her until she's asleep. Once she's *really* asleep, I'll lay her back in her cradle. This might work or it might not. It might take several attempts. Or I might be up ALL NIGHT with her. Because I refuse to go to sleep with her in the bed. It's so hard some nights, when she is just fighting sleep, but I know the best thing to do is let her know Mommy is right there when she needs me, but she will not sleep in my bed. Not now, not ever. That sounds harsh, but it's how I was raised. My mom would come to my room, my bed and comfort me after bad dreams or whatnot. I was taught that a person's room, a person's bed is sort of sacred. You show it respect. You take haven in your own room and bed. I know she's only 7 weeks, but I think it's better to show her those things now.

Last night we started off with her in the cradle, it worked for about 2 hours and then she wanted to "eat" again. More like, she just wanted me again. I put her in the swing downstairs in the living room and she went right to sleep. I slept on the couch for about 2 hours so I could be near her if she cried (we don't have a monitor in the living room for obvious reasons--we didn't think we needed one there! I tried again around 3am, but it was a no-go. So...I put her in the Rock N Play, which she had been fighting recently, acting like she wanted more room to spread out. The second I put her in it, she was A-SLEEP! I moved the cradle back into my closet and brought the RNP upstairs. We both slept a lot better after that. lol

She's smiling all the time now too. Ceiling fans and box fans are her favorite things. She will stare up at them and just LAUGH and LAUGH!

So that's about it. Here is a picture taken of her on her 7week birthday:

Happy 7weeks Princess!!

Emma's visit with her Poppy

Emma turned a month old on Friday. Not 4 weeks, but a month old. And we celebrated in a big way: She took her first road trip! haha

That's right, I took Emma down to my hometown. It's typically about a 6, 6 and a half hour car ride. So we were a little nervous, but she did great! The trip down there took a little longer than we planned. We left about an hour later than we planned. Hit storms and rush hour traffic right away. We had to make 2 stops to feed her; not sure why but those took about an hour each! And right as we were about to be at my dad's we hit construction! But we made it there safe and sound. She only started to fuss about the last hour or so, which is not bad.

My dad was enamored of her! It was so cute to see them together. She was fascinated with him. Every time he held her, she would stare and stare at him. I was a little worried about the late night feedings since she can be pretty fussy if I don't feed her right when she wants. And with my younger brothers just down the hall, I was afraid of bothering them. She was really good though. She fed right on schedule and didn't take too long to put to bed... Considering. LOL

We got to have "drinks" with two of my good friends. By drinks, I mean we had iced tea and water, snacked on fried onions and asparagus. Man, we are OLD! lol I also got to spend a few hours with another good friend. Just chit chatting about the little things going on.

No big events. No major meltdowns. Just a fun visit with my dad and girlfriends. Here are a few pics.

Emma & her Poppy

Emma & Her Poppy

I think there's a pic of my dad holding me and I made this SAME FACE!

Emma with her Aunt Billie

She's a sneaky little sucker! lol

Trial & Error

Emma has been really fussy lately and we couldn't figure out why. I even went so far as to call the doctor. They said it could be a couple of things.

• She could just not know when she was full, so she would overeat. Then she would spit up and get sick and be miserable. 
• She could have reflux.
• She could be lactose-intolerant.
• She could be formula-intolerant.
• She could be constipated.

Okay, great. There's a whole list of things and they wanted me to do trial-and-error to figure it out. Little did I know this would be so much harder than it appeared. Since we were just using formula sporadically, they recommended we try soy-based. They even went so far as to give me 2 cans of soy-formula.

When my guy and I had a date-day a while ago, we prepped 2 bottles of formula for his mom. Emma acted like she was still hungry after she had her allotted amount, so her grandma gave her a little more. But it was too much and Emma ended up getting upset again. That lasted about 2 days. We thought it was just a case of overeating.

We tried feeding her while she is mostly upright. Burping often. We switched from milk-based to soy-based. We tried everything we could think of. And my poor baby girl was still uncomfortable. :(

One of the hardest parts about being a mommy to a newborn? It isn't the lack of sleep. It isn't the constant diaper changes, laundry, dishes, cleaning... Nope. It  isn't any of that. It is the fact that your baby cannot tell you what is wrong. They are uncomfortable and they can't tell you what EXACTLY is wrong so you can find the best to fix it. Ugh...

Unexpected Late Night "Visitor"

I totally believe in spirits. In family members who have gone coming back and visiting us during major life events--and sometimes just because. I believe this because it has happened to me several times.

One of the first times happened 6 years ago. We found out in March 2007 my Uncle Timmy was really sick; he had cancer. I was interning at the University of Alabama at the time, right up until a few days before my graduation. I planned on leaving a few days early to go see him, because they were saying he probably wouldn't make it much longer. On May 3rd, my Dad drove down to Alabama to help me move out of my dorm apartment. I had planned on driving straight from Tuscaloosa, AL to Cincinnati, OH--a 7 hour drive. My Dad said I should grab a bite to eat with him before I drove straight through. We were sitting in TGI Fridays when my mom called my cell and asked to speak to my dad. That wasn't a good sign. She told my Dad my Uncle Timmy had passed away. I missed him by one day. I was devastated. I was like 3 or 4 days away from graduating--something my Uncle had always wanted for me. I still drove to Cincinnati, but for his funeral instead of his bedside. That same day I had to drive back to walk in my ceremony the next day.

It really hurt to know my Uncle, a man who had always supported me and who had even helped me find confidence in myself through officiating softball, wouldn't be there. I sat through my graduation ceremony. My Aunt and cousins (my Uncle Timmy's wife and sons) sat in the bleachers of Diddle Arena and witnessed with my family what my Uncle Timmy couldn't. Then something miraculous happened.

President Gary Ransdall, the president of my undergraduate school, quoted the lyrics from Rod Stewart's "Forever Young." My Uncle's song. The song that, every time it came on the radio, he would blare it and make us all stop and listen. My Uncle made my graduation! He must have known there was no way in his physical state he would have been able to make it when he was alive. So he made sure he made it in death. I remember walking out of my ceremony and the first person I came to was my Aunt. I walked straight up to her and said "Well, Uncle Timmy made it." She looked back at me and said "He sure did. He wouldn't have missed it for the world."

Since then, I have only heard His Song a few times on the radio. Always right when I needed to. When I gave birth to my daughter, one of the first thoughts I had our first night with her, after visiting hours were over and every one had left our room, was a sad one. I was sad because there were members of our families Emma would never meet. She would never meet her uncle on her daddy's side, her older brother, her grandma's dad, my Aunt Kim, my stepdad's mom and dad, my Uncle Junior, my Uncle Bill, my Papaw Lawrence, my Nammers or Beer Pap to name a few... and she would never meet my Uncle Timmy.

I seemed to have forgotten how powerful these spirits can be. How determined they can be to make it for those major life moments. Because my Uncle Timmy did come to see my little girl.

Two nights ago, I could NOT get Emma to calm down. She was fussy... didn't need to eat... didn't need a diaper change... She was just fussy. I took her downstairs with me while I switched the laundry over. I turned my iPod on random so there was some music going. Then "Forever Young" came on. And she stopped fussing. She and I danced around the basement for the whole song.

I know in my heart that was my Uncle Timmy coming to meet my little girl.

And I know he loved her.

Has it really been 2 weeks already?

My baby had her first doctor appointment on Monday, July 8th. The doctor said everything was great; we still had to supplement with formula for a little bit longer because Emma lost over 9 ounces since birth (normal, but add that with the jaundice and they'd rather be safe than sorry--FINE BY ME!! haha) When we were leaving, I went to schedule her 2 week check up. At the time, the receptionist was looking at the calendar and said "July 15th...wait, that can't be right. It can't already be the middle of July?!?" I told her "You're telling me! My baby will be 2 whole weeks at that appointment!"

Yesterday was her check up and she grew half an inch (she's now 20.75 inches). But the biggest thing was she gained 11 ounces in ONE WEEK! She's a chunkster at 7lbs, 12 ounces. The doctor said she was gaining weight "like a champ" and we could stop formula feeding. I bet her daddy will be really happy to hear that! haha Well, I don't know. All the formula we went through these past 2 weeks happened to be free. Either the hospital gave it to us, or I was using the Enfamil from Peek-A-Belly. All free!

I can't believe my baby is 2 weeks old today! And every day I am more amazed by her. She is SUCH a good baby!! She really only cries when she's hungry--sometimes when she needs changed. And she usually does pretty good about sleeping through the night. On our good nights, she wakes up between 12 and 1 to eat, then goes right back to sleep. Her daddy and I wake up at 4:30 so he can go to work, then Emma wakes up at 5 to eat again. It works out great!

Of course the perfect sleeping arrangement isn't every night. If her daddy has to work on something late then she is UP. She is such a Daddy's Girl! When he leaves to go to the gym, she will wake right up when that door closes. And she'll sometimes stay fussy until he gets back home. Then, the second he walks in, she's fine. She also calms down completely if I call him and have him on speakerphone. She loves the sound of her daddy's voice. He says I should try playing Pandora on the iPad for when she's fussy because it worked when he tried it. We'll see how that goes for me though!

Okay, so that's about all we have for now. Time to go feed the little princess! :)
~Happy Mommy!

"Return to Me"

Okay, this movie is SUCH a chick flick! I know it. But I love it. It has Minnie Driver, Bonnie Hunt, David Duchovny, and James Belushi.

Quick Plot: Driver plays a woman who has a heart defect and needs a transplant to live. Duchovny plays the widowed husband; Driver receives his deceased wife's heart. Hunt plays Driver's best friend and Belushi is Hunt's husband. They are obviously the comedic relief a lot of times.

I don't want to give any of the story away, so I'm going to write the real reason for this post. I really feel like Hunt & Belushi's marriage is so much like me and my boyfriend!! I didn't realize it at first, or even when I first watched the movie--even the first hundred times!!-- but I think I've always been looking for a relationship like that one.

See Hunt is a stay at home mom with 5 kids. She's strong-willed and fun, always a little frazzled (FIVE KIDS remember?!?) but manages to keep it all together. Belushi is a cop who is a little scatterbrained and kind of irreverent (in a fun way). They have these little "fights" that are just so typical of couples who have been together forever.
Example: They are getting ready to eat dinner and one of their sons says "If you don't like priests, you'll go straight to hell." Then Hunt looks at Belushi and says "Great, you taught him 'Hell'." Belushi goes: "How do you know you didn't teach him Hell?" She says "I've never said Hell in my life you SOB." Just funny and real.

Then there's the way they are together. They are always wanting to touch each other. Nothing "weird." Just comforting. Like when they are in the kitchen and Belushi is shirtless drinking a beer; Hunt & Driver are talking about guys. Hunt & Driver start laughing at Belushi so he does this belly roll thing. And Hunt puts her arms around him--hugging him from behind. It's just so loving.

This is soooo me & my bf 10...15 years down the road! :)

It's those fun and simple moments in the movie that remind me of how great my relationship is. Watching this movie is like looking into a crystal ball. I can totally see me and him having those same moments down the road.

NICU = Neurotic Mommy

I always swore I wan't going to be one of those "neurotic new moms." I mean, I have been around babies my whole life. I baby-sat brand newborns even. I'm not one to get overly concerned with hospitals or things like that. But then Day 2 with Emma happened and I turned into one of "those moms."

Wednesday, July 3rd--everything seemed normal. The nurses took Emma back for her tests. They said she had some fluid in her right ear, so they would have to take her back later that day. Other than that, they said she was fine. We went the whole day and no one mentioned anything being wrong. Later that night, after visiting hours were over, the nurse came and took her for her follow up on her right ear. When they brought her back, they said she was good. No problems. About that time, I noticed she looked a little more yellow than I remembered, but they were telling me she was fine so I didn't think to ask about jaundice.

The next morning was the 4th of July. We had been told repeatedly that we would be leaving that day. My doctor knew we would want to spend the holiday with our families, so he showed up at 7:45am and gave me the go ahead. The nurses get telling me we were just waiting for the pediatrician to come in and tell us we could all go home. We were waiting, and waiting, and waiting. At 9:45am, I got a call from the desk staff stating that there was someone who wanted to come visit. I told them sure, but then they said they needed to talk to my nurse. She was actually in the room with me at the time, so I handed the phone over to her. She told the staff person that visiting hours didn't start until 11am, so they would have to come back. I told her I didn't mind if they came up early; we would probably be leaving shortly and I didn't want anyone to miss seeing her. The nurse said no, though.

My boyfriend and I were waiting on the doctor when she strolled in around 11:15am. She said the billi-numbers were a little high and she wanted to run the test again. She told us that we should be able to leave that day; we would just need to get Emma out in the sunlight a few minutes every hour before 10am and after 3pm. "Okay," we thought. We can do that. My guy's aunt and uncle and my little sister showed up shortly after the doctor left. They held her and played with her until the nurse came to take her back for her test. Now, this really upset me. I mean, YOU KNOW when the visiting hours start. Why would you 1) have the doctor come in after the hours start? and 2) order a test to be done after those hours? ESPECIALLY when you knew the night before that there was a distinct possibility you would have to run the test again?? I mean, people can drive a long way to visit with the baby (and these 3 people did); and their visit gets cut short because the doctor just moseyed on in when she felt like it?? So irritated.

The test took about 30 minutes. They brought her back to us and we all got to visit some more. I held off on feeding her because I didn't want the nurse to come in halfway through and be like: "Okay, you can leave now." When they discharged us, we just wanted to go home. Well then it just got later and later so I fed her around 1:30pm. We still hadn't heard from the doctor again. We kept asking the nurse, and she kept saying she had paged the doc. Finally the phone rang. It was the doc. She said she had been calling around for at home care, but--since it was the holiday--none of them were open. Which meant: Our baby was being sent to NICU. I started crying right then on the phone with the doctor and had to hand it off to my guy. He got all the details she could give (which didn't seem like much).

Then the nurse came and put my baby girl in the "travelling crib" and walked us to NICU. When we got there, Nurse A started telling us some things about what happens in NICU for jaundice. But it seemed like she didn't know what was going on because Nurse B (an actual NICU nurse) would stop her and say things like "Not always," or "only if we need to do that..." Then they were running around trying to figure out if our baby was going to get a double dose or triple dose or the lighting. No one seemed to know. It was so hectic and scary. When they finally figured it all out, they showed us how the lights work and the little eye mask she had to wear. Then they told me I could only hold her when I fed her. And they were limiting that to 10 minutes each side and then 15ml of bottle, plus burping time. No more than 25-30 minutes every 3 hours.

That's it. My baby was only 48 hours old and they were sitting there telling me I couldn't hold her anymore. When we asked why this happened, they said it was because her protein levels were too high because she wasn't going enough, because I was solely breastfeeding and my milk hadn't come in yet. Great... so I was doing something I thought was the best thing for my baby and I am partly to blame for her being in this little room all by herself? That was not what I needed to hear. I couldn't talk to anyone at all that day because every time I did, I just started crying. My boyfriend had to hold me while I cried uncontrollably I don't know how many times. He kept saying it was better that we found out while we were still here and not once we got her home... At least this way they could put us in "hospitality" (we'd get to stay in our room but none of the perks: no nurse with meds, no food service... no towels even!) and we could stay there to stop in and feed her every 3 hours.

A completely new nurse came in and wanted me to sign a document stating that I understood the limits of hospitality. I was okay with everything.... except that they weren't going to let my guy stay the night. They were going to make him leave at 8:30pm and not be allowed back until 11am. There was absolutely no way I would have made it alone. I told her this and told her I would talk to her manager because it didn't make sense. The lead nurse called me and said they would make an exception for us.

I set my phone alarm for every 3 hours. And every 3 hours I'd waddle down the hall, out to the "common area," down another hall and to NICU. I'd spend my 30minutes with her. I'd talk to her and touch her head and fingers and toes. I couldn't get enough of her... and yet the 30minutes would end and they'd make me put her back. My guy got to feed her a few times too.

The next day was horrible. My guy took me out to breakfast and then to his grandmother's house. He said if we stayed at the hospital we would just spend the entire time looking at the clock. Waiting for the next 3 hours to roll around so we could feed her, waiting to hear when they would release her. Finally, at 1:45 on Friday, my guy's phone rang. It was the NICU nurses saying she was going to be released. We were pulling into the hospital parking lot at that time anyways... but then we really got moving. My guy parked the car and I waited for him inside. (it was really hot that day!) Then we were rushing around our hospital room, making sure we had everything. We booked it to the NICU and there she was. Off the lights. Just waiting for us. I was so happy. I couldn't get enough of her. My guy filled out all the paperwork, got all the instructions while I got her dressed in her coming-home outfit...again.

We brought her home and couldn't get enough of her. My guy took her to her nursery and sat in the rocker, reading a few books to her. We had a few people come over, but overall, we tried to keep it pretty simple. That night though, I started to panic. Right before bed, I changed her diaper and suddenly she looked so yellow again. I couldn't breathe. My guy called his mom and she came over. She said we were just being paranoid. Maybe we were. But I knew I was going to be worried about it until we went to her doctor appointment on Monday.

So that was our first scare. I didn't think it would come so soon after having her, but there it was.

Update: Luckily, at her check-up, the doctor told me everything looked good and I could stop worrying.