Wednesday, July 3rd--everything seemed normal. The nurses took Emma back for her tests. They said she had some fluid in her right ear, so they would have to take her back later that day. Other than that, they said she was fine. We went the whole day and no one mentioned anything being wrong. Later that night, after visiting hours were over, the nurse came and took her for her follow up on her right ear. When they brought her back, they said she was good. No problems. About that time, I noticed she looked a little more yellow than I remembered, but they were telling me she was fine so I didn't think to ask about jaundice.
The next morning was the 4th of July. We had been told repeatedly that we would be leaving that day. My doctor knew we would want to spend the holiday with our families, so he showed up at 7:45am and gave me the go ahead. The nurses get telling me we were just waiting for the pediatrician to come in and tell us we could all go home. We were waiting, and waiting, and waiting. At 9:45am, I got a call from the desk staff stating that there was someone who wanted to come visit. I told them sure, but then they said they needed to talk to my nurse. She was actually in the room with me at the time, so I handed the phone over to her. She told the staff person that visiting hours didn't start until 11am, so they would have to come back. I told her I didn't mind if they came up early; we would probably be leaving shortly and I didn't want anyone to miss seeing her. The nurse said no, though.
My boyfriend and I were waiting on the doctor when she strolled in around 11:15am. She said the billi-numbers were a little high and she wanted to run the test again. She told us that we should be able to leave that day; we would just need to get Emma out in the sunlight a few minutes every hour before 10am and after 3pm. "Okay," we thought. We can do that. My guy's aunt and uncle and my little sister showed up shortly after the doctor left. They held her and played with her until the nurse came to take her back for her test. Now, this really upset me. I mean, YOU KNOW when the visiting hours start. Why would you 1) have the doctor come in after the hours start? and 2) order a test to be done after those hours? ESPECIALLY when you knew the night before that there was a distinct possibility you would have to run the test again?? I mean, people can drive a long way to visit with the baby (and these 3 people did); and their visit gets cut short because the doctor just moseyed on in when she felt like it?? So irritated.
The test took about 30 minutes. They brought her back to us and we all got to visit some more. I held off on feeding her because I didn't want the nurse to come in halfway through and be like: "Okay, you can leave now." When they discharged us, we just wanted to go home. Well then it just got later and later so I fed her around 1:30pm. We still hadn't heard from the doctor again. We kept asking the nurse, and she kept saying she had paged the doc. Finally the phone rang. It was the doc. She said she had been calling around for at home care, but--since it was the holiday--none of them were open. Which meant: Our baby was being sent to NICU. I started crying right then on the phone with the doctor and had to hand it off to my guy. He got all the details she could give (which didn't seem like much).
Then the nurse came and put my baby girl in the "travelling crib" and walked us to NICU. When we got there, Nurse A started telling us some things about what happens in NICU for jaundice. But it seemed like she didn't know what was going on because Nurse B (an actual NICU nurse) would stop her and say things like "Not always," or "only if we need to do that..." Then they were running around trying to figure out if our baby was going to get a double dose or triple dose or the lighting. No one seemed to know. It was so hectic and scary. When they finally figured it all out, they showed us how the lights work and the little eye mask she had to wear. Then they told me I could only hold her when I fed her. And they were limiting that to 10 minutes each side and then 15ml of bottle, plus burping time. No more than 25-30 minutes every 3 hours.
That's it. My baby was only 48 hours old and they were sitting there telling me I couldn't hold her anymore. When we asked why this happened, they said it was because her protein levels were too high because she wasn't going enough, because I was solely breastfeeding and my milk hadn't come in yet. Great... so I was doing something I thought was the best thing for my baby and I am partly to blame for her being in this little room all by herself? That was not what I needed to hear. I couldn't talk to anyone at all that day because every time I did, I just started crying. My boyfriend had to hold me while I cried uncontrollably I don't know how many times. He kept saying it was better that we found out while we were still here and not once we got her home... At least this way they could put us in "hospitality" (we'd get to stay in our room but none of the perks: no nurse with meds, no food service... no towels even!) and we could stay there to stop in and feed her every 3 hours.
A completely new nurse came in and wanted me to sign a document stating that I understood the limits of hospitality. I was okay with everything.... except that they weren't going to let my guy stay the night. They were going to make him leave at 8:30pm and not be allowed back until 11am. There was absolutely no way I would have made it alone. I told her this and told her I would talk to her manager because it didn't make sense. The lead nurse called me and said they would make an exception for us.
I set my phone alarm for every 3 hours. And every 3 hours I'd waddle down the hall, out to the "common area," down another hall and to NICU. I'd spend my 30minutes with her. I'd talk to her and touch her head and fingers and toes. I couldn't get enough of her... and yet the 30minutes would end and they'd make me put her back. My guy got to feed her a few times too.
The next day was horrible. My guy took me out to breakfast and then to his grandmother's house. He said if we stayed at the hospital we would just spend the entire time looking at the clock. Waiting for the next 3 hours to roll around so we could feed her, waiting to hear when they would release her. Finally, at 1:45 on Friday, my guy's phone rang. It was the NICU nurses saying she was going to be released. We were pulling into the hospital parking lot at that time anyways... but then we really got moving. My guy parked the car and I waited for him inside. (it was really hot that day!) Then we were rushing around our hospital room, making sure we had everything. We booked it to the NICU and there she was. Off the lights. Just waiting for us. I was so happy. I couldn't get enough of her. My guy filled out all the paperwork, got all the instructions while I got her dressed in her coming-home outfit...again.
We brought her home and couldn't get enough of her. My guy took her to her nursery and sat in the rocker, reading a few books to her. We had a few people come over, but overall, we tried to keep it pretty simple. That night though, I started to panic. Right before bed, I changed her diaper and suddenly she looked so yellow again. I couldn't breathe. My guy called his mom and she came over. She said we were just being paranoid. Maybe we were. But I knew I was going to be worried about it until we went to her doctor appointment on Monday.
So that was our first scare. I didn't think it would come so soon after having her, but there it was.
Update: Luckily, at her check-up, the doctor told me everything looked good and I could stop worrying.
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