SO MUCH

... has happened! I can't even believe it.

But before I delve into all of that, let me apologize for not keeping up with this blog better. I'm trying but we always have so much going on. And I have learned that being present in those moments are what truly matter most. So, that being said, while I will still try very hard to stay up to date on this, I will also be making sure that I don't let moments bypass me as I think of my next blog.

Okay, now back to the awesomeness that is MY LIFE! haha

First big thing: We moved! Yep. My boyfriend and I bought a house together. I have never owned my own home. I lived with my parents until college. Rented until I moved back in with my mom. Then I lived with Matt. So this was a massive step for us. To have this HUGE house with this HUGE meaning behind it.... We're in this together, you know? I mean, we've had so many good moments, so many memories at our old home, but this was a fresh start. Emma will be two soon and we wanted a bigger place to raise her. Our old home had a "past" to it that this home doesn't. This is just me and Emma and Emma's dad.

The house is gorgeous too. We fell in love with it right away. Even put an offer in on it. It was rejected at first because the bank accepted someoneelse's offer. So we looked at other places, contemplated those places, considered making offers on those places. But we kept this place in the memory bank. We would keep looking at it on the computer, pulling it up and revisiting the "shoulda, coulda, woulda's" of this place. After a few weeks, we noticed it was still listed as "open" so we put another offer in. And we got it!! We got the news right before we went on our family vacation in Disney. While there they needed more "stuff," so we scrambled then to make arrangements to get the bank the documents they needed.

Fast forward to April 24th. We closed on our dream home on that day. My boyfriend and I celebrated with a lunch date at Maggiano's--just the two of us. We picked out the colors together. We picked out the detail-stuff together....all of it.

We had our grandfather paint most of the house and take care of most of the cosmetic issues, but I will say my stepdad and I painted my room and Emma's room. I even painted most of the ceilings throughout the whole house! I ended up having to change a few room-colors after we started, but I am so happy with how the house looks. The whole family is in love with it! Emma can't get enough of it. She loves this place. Has called it her house since the start.

First floor:

• The first floor has a formal dining room and formal living room right in front. We call the FDR the "Beauty & the Beast Room" because of the color and the chandelier we bought. tee hee hee.
• We made the FLR Emma's playroom. She has so so many toys that we needed an entire room to house them! 
• Then there's the open kitchen and family room with a fire place. I love the fire place.. and the wall of bay windows in the family room. We still have some work to do in the kitchen, but it's all little things. Like painting the cabinets and putting an island in. 
• Then there's the laundry room right off the kitchen--leads to the garage. Have plans for a few changes for that room, but nothing that is a "has to be done right away" type thing. Nope. I love the mint color I chose for that room!! 
• The powder room on this floor is coral and I do mean CORAL! It's so bright and lovely. Honestly. I see that room and it makes me smile, it's so cheery!

The Second Floor:

• The upstairs has the bedrooms. Guest room, Emma's bathroom, office, Emma's room, then the master bed and bath. 
• Emma's room is pink and violet and ADORABLE! We have Mickey and Minnie decals on the wall and I think it's the most fun room for a toddler I've seen. Her bathroom is the same pink. 
• The master bedroom is grey and blue. Simple and soothing. I even have a reading nook in my room. :) It's so much fun. And the bathroom. It's HUGE! And the colors are peach and coral. And I think that might be another favorite room-color-choice combo. 
• Right now the office and the guest room are "neutral." I don't know how I want them to look, so I'm keeping them sort of bland for now. No point in doing something I don't love just to have to redo it later.

The basement is massive and finished. It has a storage room with built-in shelves. That room was one of two reasons I fell in love with this house.

The backyard. Oh geez. I love our backyard. Small patio but big enough for our table and chairs plus some set-up chairs where the family can all circle up and chat-chit. And Emma's swingset. This kid loves her swingset. It was the second thing that made me love the house. Emma is really into slides right now, so this was perfect for her. This may actually be the reason she loved the house from the start. haha Our yard isn't "massive" or anything but there are 4 houses side by side with open yards and each has the swingset. So all the kids can play together and just run from one yard to the next. I love it.

Since I have made this post incredibly long (much more so than I had intended), I'm going to wrap it up and end it now... With some pictures of the house as it is now! Enjoy!

Dining Room with "Beauty & Beast Chandelier"

Emma's Pink-chic bathroom

My Mint laundry room

 

 

 
 

Master bedroom with my reading nook! :)

Okay

Inspired by a silly video

Sometimes the simplest things inspire greatness.

Okay, that may be a tad hyperbolic. But still.

This morning I was scrolling around on social media, looking at things other people were sharing, laughing at cute photos, kept scrolling past the dumb ones... when I saw something really "interesting." It was a video titled Why Mom's get NOTHING DONE!  Well of course I had to watch that!! Here's the link. Please let me know if you can't open it for some reason) 

Why Mom's get NOTHING DONE! 

Okay. Now that you've watched let me ask you... HOW TRUE IS THAT?!? Seriously. The whole time I was watching it, I was like: "Yep." 

"Uh-huh." 

"Oh that ALWAYS happens."

"WHAT? Them too?"

Then I realized this is EVERY mom's daily existence. We are always being judged by how our homes look. Or feel like we are being judged. We try so hard to keep the place clean, but the toddler or child/children (or grown ups who act like children! haha) find a way to undo every thing you just did. Right after you just did it!

Welp, I saw that video at 6:15am. I was out of bed and determined to have a clean house, even if just until Emma woke up. In 90 minutes, I had laundry going, dishwasher unloaded and reloaded, living room completely picked up and tidied, kitchen tidied, trash out, bathrooms cleaned, Emma's room picked up, rest of the day's TO DO LIST written out. AND I was able to sit down and enjoy my clean home for a bit. 

**Insert mental picture of me doing the happy dance!***

Granted, there are a few dished soaking in the sink. My bed's not totally made. and I still have laundry to fold and put away. BUT I am so happy with how my home looks right now! I could have someone walk in and I wouldn't be embarrassed.

People always tell me I'm too hard on myself about the house. Everyone who walks in says it looks great, especially with a toddler ruling the roost. But I just feel like it looks dirty. And I hate that. My guy is constantly telling me if it's not 100% cleaned up, people understand. Everyone knows I work full time. Everyone knows I have a toddler who loves to play and "clean up" and "organize." They get that for a while, until Emma goes to school, the house will probably have a toy in every room and the laundry may not be caught up. 

AND IT'S OKAY!

But I just remember my Grammy and Pappy always telling us "A place for everything and everything in its place." I remember having to clean my room before I went anywhere. I remember doing chores to help out. I remember "Never leave a room empty-handed. Something can always be taken to the room you are heading to... to help clean up." And "If you don't make a mess, you don't ever really have to clean." So I am always doing that. If I leave the living room, I take the stray toy and put it near the stairs to take to Emma's room when I'm next heading upstairs. When I leave the kitchen, I take the coat hanging on the chair and hang it in the closet. These were and are always things I never thought about but just did.

Okay. Now that the "heavy" stuff is lain out, time for some fun Emma stories. So. Emma actually loves to help with the laundry. She will walk downstairs with me, go into the laundry room, and say "I help." Then I hand her the clothes from the washer to put in the dryer. Or I hand her the dirty clothes and let her put them in the washer. She loves it!!

The dishwasher is still a struggle. She is always wanting to unload the dirty dishes as I put them in. It never fails!

Aside from housework and chores (haha), Emma is getting so big in everything. She is clearly over half my height now. She talks and communicates almost anything she needs to. Now she can walk up to me and say "Mommy, I happy. You happy?" And even if I was beyond frustrated/irritated/annoyed/stressed/tired before that, suddenly I am SOOO happy. She tells my mom's dogs "Hush dog-dog" when they start barking. She loves the scented wax bars I sell. When I get new ones in, she comes up and says "I's mells, mommy." And she will smell every one of them. She even indicates which ones she likes and which ones she doesn't. 

Every day is a new adventure. A new struggle met with new resolutions. A new dawn met with new beginnings. I know tomorrow--oh, who am I kidding, probably in the next 30 minutes--my house will be destroyed and I will want to shun from the world because of it. (Hyperbole again). But for now, I am calm, in a clean house, with a sleeping baby.

Life is Good!

So many Birthdays!

It's almost here! The weekend!! 

I know. They take forever to get here, but they always come, each week, so it shouldn't be such a surprise. But that's not the big deal. The big deal is this weekend is EXTREE-Special. This weekend all of my nieces and nephew (and a "cousin") will all be one year old! Holy Moly!!

That's right! I have the best luck in that my daughter--who is already 19 months old!-- has 4 cousins who are no more than 7 months younger than her! My twin niece and nephew turned one at the end of December and it was fun going to Wisconsin to celebrate with them. They are these adorable roly pollies who have seriously the biggest, happiest, and overal BEST smiles...EVER! I swear. My only nephew (to this point) is a tank of a boy but the biggest sweetheart ever. He loves to laugh and you love to hear him laugh. And when his grandparents get around him, he lights up and wants to play. I think he's going to be that football player you just inherently like because he's genuinely friendly. Sporty and  Friendly. The best combo!

My nephew Monty. Told you his smile was perfect!

His twin sister, my "oldest" niece, well she's like him and she's not. She is friendly but not one of those "I'm going to love everyone RIGHT AWAY!" types. No, she's more of a "let me study you and figure out how good a friends we are going to be" type. What I like to call "Southern." lol She's not mean or anything remotely like that, but she won't be fake either. She is kind and courteous if she doesn't know you but so tight and loving if she does. Kinda like me and her mom. My stepsister and I are A LOT alike and to see her daughter be like her is amazing. Anyways, my niece is incredible. She is definitely a care-giver. Even at their birthday party back in December, it seemed like she would randomly look around for her brother, make sure he was okay and having fun. When they were having their smash cakes, she wanted to share hers with him. Quietly perfect, that's my niece!

My oldest niece Amelia... aka "Melie"

Melie sharing her cake with Monty

We had a little break before the next "round," you know. Next up was my guy's cousin's little girl. She turned 1 earlier this week. Ellie is sort of like Monty and sort of like Melie. She LOVES to laugh and she LOVES her cousins. She isn't too sure about new people though. Ellie is sort of like Emma's little sister right now, which is great! They live really close to us so Emma gets to see Ellie AT LEAST once or twice a week, if not more. They fight like sisters: when Ellie has a toy, of course that's the one Emma wants to play with. If Emma has something Ellie knows is "hers" (aka, if she wants it), then she will "tell" Emma in no uncertain terms. It's adorable!! I love that Emma gets to be a big sister to her cousin, yet still get to enjoy being Mommy & Daddy's "only." Ellie is talking a little more each day and trying her darndest to walk. She is soo close! A favorite new memory is from her birthday dinner, when Ellie and Emma both asked to watch their beloved "Mimi" (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse). They were pointing things out on the TV, characters and such, and singing the songs together. It was such a beautiful moment.
**Side note: I also think it's fitting both girls have "classical" and "Austen-ian" names! Eleanor and Emma are both strong, independent, loving characters from my favorite author. Just seems kismet to me! :)

Ellie and her Smash Cake photo!

(Almost) Always the happy, smiley girl! 

My "youngest" niece" turns 1 this weekend. Vivi is just a pure joy. She is so smart and athletic. I mean, what other baby do you know--at 9/10 months--could figure out that if she kind of rocks her upper body back and forth on a swing, the swing will start to move?? That's insane! But that's Vivi. She is so sweet. Her hugs are amazing... maybe because she is so deliberate about who she gives them to. Seeing her with her mommy and daddy is like candy for the eyes. This little girl captures your heart quietly. And I don't think I have ever heard her cry, seen a pic of her crying, or heard tales of her crying. Really and truly a happy and easy going baby girl.

If I had to use Jane Austen's characters to describe my littl'uns, I guess it would be as follows:

• Monty: Well he is like Mr. Bingley. Funny and fun to be around. Everyone loves him. No one can find a bad thing to say about him. He makes and keeps friends because he is a genuine and true guy. He will lead the pack because he wants to experience everything fresh and new, and not because of some need to be first. His enjoyment of things comes from their simple pleasure and not from what he can gain. (Little philosophical for a toddler. LOL)
• Amelia: She reminds me so much of Jane Bennett. Which is weirdly perfect in that Mr. Bingely ends up with Jane Bennett. But anyways. Jane is always thinking well of others, looking out for her family. Quietly observant of what is going on around her. She is the rock of the family. She doesn't judge as quickly as Elizabeth, so people like her and want to be around her. She finds the good in people and doesn't throw herself into the spotlight (*cough, cough* Lydia!), 
• Ellie: I see Margaret Dashwood with her. Yeah, yeah, she's like 12 in the book but whatever. Margaret is neither completely fanciful nor completely family-focused. Margaret craves adventure; she wants to be able to do the things her older siblings can do. She doesn't care about the material things, more the experiences she can have. She is probably the most well-balanced of Jane Austen's characters, but then again, she is only 12! haha
• Vivi: I just keep thinking of Fanny Price. Yeah, she's shy and timid, but I wouldn't describe Fanny as "shrinking from notice." Nor would I say that about Vivi. They are quiet and determined. I once heard Fanny described more of "Horton" from "Horton Hatches an Egg": She sits there, unwavering and faithful. "Steadfastly virtuous" is another way to look at it. I think that is more appropriate for my littlest niece. She is never going to be a "Marianne" (flighty, quick to fall in love, carefree to a fault...) but she doesn't seem to need to be. She already seems like she is aware of who she is and accepting of it. Far better than some of us adults sometimes!

For my family reading this: How'd I do? Did I get close, you think? And for those of you who don't know each baby (maybe that's not the right word anymore?? EEK--TODDLER), did I paint a picture of their personality clearly? 

Somebody's Daughter... Somebody's Mother

The other day I watched my daughter sleep. It was early in the morning and I still had a little bit before I had to start getting ready for work, so I just brushed my fingers through her hair and watched her sleep. It was amazing. And somewhere in that time, I had a "moment": I was looking at someone's future mommy. Someday my little girl will look down at her baby and be filled with the same love I was at that moment.

The same love I have every day.

The same look and love that my mom had when she held me as a baby. And her mother to her, and her mother to her... It's probably been the same for every mother of a daughter for as far back as... well since the first daughter was born.

I haven't had a son, so I don't know what that feels like, but MAN! was that a powerful moment for me.

***
Mommies of little girls have this "whole 'nother thing" going on. We are mothers of mothers. We are the givers of life to those who will give life. We hold our daughters and love them with everything we have. But we know that someday someone will love them too and make them mommies. Someday--not today, but someday--we will be outranked by their son or daughter.

That makes me happy more than it makes me sad.

It makes me a little sad to know I will not always be her favorite person, or her most important person. I mean, yeah, I knew from the second I found out I was having a girl I was in for the biggest rollercoaster ride EVER! I knew she would "hate" me in her teenage years when I "just wouldn't understand," when I "just don't get it." Because yeah, I've never been there! haha I have dreaded those days since I heard "it's a girl," even knowing they are so far off in the future but will be here in the blink of an eye. So it's not like I ever expected to be her favorite person for her whole entire life or anything like that. But I gotta admit, it's different thinking all together to think about how there will be these other people who will love your child as-much-as-you-in-a-completely-different-way type thing.

Lawd I don't even know if this is making sense at this point!!

I'm a religious woman--not a church-goer but still religious--and I remember from my Sunday School days the scripture which says (paraphrased): "And one day he will leave his father and mother, and she will leave her father and mother, and they will join as one family." It's as it should be. And as it will be. And that makes me so very happy.

Eventually I know Emma will find someone to love her with every fiber in themselves. I know because that's how I feel about her daddy. From the second I saw him, I knew he was the end and beginning for me. No lie; from the very first second. I had to wait for our time to be the right time and at varying points over those years I was scared I might be wrong; but I wasn't. I have found the one and only person I am supposed to be with forever. I can't believe how lucky I am. But then again, I can. Because I know it wasn't luck for me and it won't be luck for Emma. She will find her Prince Charming, her Beast, her soul mate/other half/true love. She will find this person and build a life separate from us. She will become someone's mommy. And she will THEN, and maybe only then, know exactly how much I love her.

I love my mom but I don't think I ever "got" how much she loved me until I held Emma in my arms that very first time. And maybe even then I didn't really get it because each day I wake up I think how much more and differently I love my daughter.

I'm not special. Not really. I'm the same in the most basic ways possible as every mother before me. I love my child. I love her more than I love myself. I work to make her proud, to provide for her. I want to be the best for my child. That's it. Every single true mother is the same at the core. "Egg donors"--those people who give birth but aren't mothers, not really...well that's different. -----Staying positive now...

This was a very long, almost babbling post that may very well embarrass my daughter one day. But that's okay! Because that moment was such a heavy moment for me. "I am looking at someone's mommy." That's heavy!!  But still, it was the best moment of that day. To know with every bit of certainty that my daughter will be loved by her child. Maybe this is a tad (sarcastic much?) presumptuous, but that's just how I felt, how I feel.

I thanked God right then and there for giving me my daughter, and for the future children she can have.


**Side note: Before I get a whole bunch of responses about how she may not want children, how she may love someone who won't/can't give her children, how she may not be able to have children; I hear you. I hear the pain of those who can't conceive and those who struggle with their relationships being "different," etc. I'm not suggesting Emma MUST have children for me to love her or whatever. I'm simply sharing a moment I had with my daughter. And for that moment, my thoughts were as above. My mind felt cleared and empty and whole--maybe? I don't know what it was. I just wanted to share this moment with my friends and family as it was such a profound moment for me. I apologize here and now if I hurt or offend anyone, as that is NEVER my intention. Please take this post for what it is, at face value. Thank you.

New Adventures!

I tried to get this post together this past weekend, but didn't want to try and do it on my phone. That's a headache and just not worth it! So here we go, all new things with my little 'un!

We have had our first "parent involved with the county rec program." We signed Emma up for a class and it took me back to when I was little. I remember waking up early and getting ready for whatever sport I happened to be playing at that time. I remember my mom and dad blaring music--classics like John Fogerty and Bob Dylan--and making breakfast. I remember being so excited about getting to hang out with my friends.

Truth is I never really thought about what it took to make that happen. As a kid, you're not supposed to. You're not supposed to know that Mom and Dad actually got up an hour before you did because there was just no way they were going to get everything done otherwise. You're not supposed to know what it cost each and every season to play that sport or join that team or do that event. You're just not. I'm so glad that I didn't know those things as a kid; and I'm even more glad I'm getting to learn them now. Because that means my daughter is getting to experience new things and meet new people. She's having fun without worries. That's my job as her mom, her dad's job as her dad. We make things happen for her without her ever knowing what it takes to make them happen.

Anyways. Nostalgia over. Back to present day. As I said, we took Emma to her first class. She didn't really get it at first. Actually, out of the hour the class lasts, she didn't get it for maybe 45 minutes! lol There towards the end though, she got it. After it wrapped up, we went to her great-grandma's house to visit--maybe an hour there. Then we went home. Emma had had so much excitement that she was sleeping soundly before we pulled out of the driveway! HAHA She slept the whole way home. That alone is reason enough to keep going every week: GUARANTEED NAP TIME!

Actually, I know we'll be going back because we asked Emma the other night if she was excited about her "class." She immediately said "YES!" We asked if she wanted to do this thing or that thing from the class. And she actually understood. The things she said yes to were the things she played with most when we were there; the things she said no to were things she did maybe once and then didn't go back to. So she gets it. There were a bunch of other kids around her age, so hopefully this is the start of Emma making new friends before she even starts school! I definitely want her to be comfortable walking into new situations and meeting new people.

Other than that...not a whole lot. Getting back into a routine with the new year. New work schedule means new home schedule. Everyone is making adjustments. Not just me, my guy, and Emma...but our whole family. I love the fact my daughter stays with family. I know I'm lucky. A lot of parents don't have that luxury. And that's what it is: A luxury. My parents didn't have it. My parents lived overseas at one point and then they lived halfway across the country at another time. When we finally stopped moving, they were still no closer than 4hrs from the nearest grandparent. We saw my mom's side kind of frequently, considering--maybe something like once a month or every other month. My dad's side was like 6-7hrs so that was even less often.

Emma doesn't have that. Her family is a stone's throw away. She could see most of them every day if she wanted. The rest she could probably see every other week or maybe once a month or so. The point is my daughter is so incredibly lucky. She gets to see 2 of her grandmas ever single week. And *I* am lucky. Because my daughter is being cared for by people who love her. I don't have to find an outside sitter for her. I know a lot of people have nannies who care for and about their kids. And some parents send their kids to daycare or early preschool; and they choose the best schools with the best teachers. I'm not saying anything against moms/dads who opt for those choices. They may not have the opportunity for family to watch their babies. I'm just lucky that I do.

Parents --good parents, parents who were meant to be parents-- care more about their kids than anything else; we always look for the best options for our babies. We put their needs before our own, their wants before our own. We make our decisions based on them. I may WANT to go see a movie or get my nails done. But my daughter NEEDS me to come home and be with her especially when I've worked 40+hrs that week. I may want to stay up late but my daughter needs me to be up with her in the morning, so I'm in bed before I want to be. (Sometimes, after a gruesomely long day, I want to go to bed before her though! LOL)
My days of being carefree and doing what I want because I want--well those days are over. I am a mom first. And thank goodness for that. At some point every one has to grow up. I see my daughter growing before my eyes and know she is my world. She and her daddy. They are why I work, so I can prove to my daughter that anything she wants is possible. They are why I clean as much possible, so they can be proud of their home. They are why I plan and why I strive, so we can always know how much we mean to each other and how important we all are--individually and as a family.

That is our new adventure: Taking the time to allow Emma to discover things she likes, things she doesn't. And making the time to grow as a family, a couple, a parent, and a person. This year has already been incredible and fun. I am so excited for what the rest of the year holds!

On Emma's 1st Birthday, we...

Wow, so yesterday was an amazing day! I still am in chock that my baby is a little girl now. Anyways, here is what our Mommy-daughter day consisted of:

First, Emma slept in! I actually had to wake her up at 8am because she just wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep! She reminded me so much of her daddy then.

When she finally did wake up, she had a bottle, played with her toys, made a big mess in the living room... and basically made me laugh and smile the entire time! I put the computer away all day. I just wanted to spend time with her. I figured if I had to, I could work while she napped, but--if she was up--the computer was closed. Very proud of that decision.

Thing is, Emma didn't really want to nap yesterday. She wanted to play even though she was super sleepy (aka: becoming very grouchy). Finally I figured, if she wasn't going to sleep, I was going to have to take her with me on my errands. We went and ran an errand for Daddy, signed Emma up for the Kid's Pass at Barns & Noble where she got a free cupcake for her birthday, went to my other favorite store and bought a few things, went to Party City for streamers and a helium tank, then went home where she went right to sleep. I started prepping the ribs I would make for dinner, cleaned up the house some, watched some TV, and watched my baby girl sleep so peacefully in the living room.

She woke up right before her daddy came home. After that we were constantly entertaining her until her Nonna, Poppa, uncle, and Mamaw came over for dinner. Ribs & grilled corn. Tasted pretty yummy if I do say so myself!

After that we played in the living room for a bit with Emma before we opened presents. She had so much fun pulling the tissue paper out of the bags and "reading" her cards like they were books. Adorable. Then we brought out her birthday cupcake with one candle lit, sang to her, and she loved it. She is such a little diva too: Loves being the center of attention! She manga'd on her cupcake!! Icing all over her hands and face. Luckily not her hair this time like happened with the smash cake in her photo shoot.

Not long after that, the long day caught up to her. She was exhausted but fighting sleep. She didn't want her "guests" to leave yet and made a big show of fussing when someone had to leave. It would be adorable if she weren't so darn loud about it! haha Then she got a last bedtime bottle and went right to sleep.

Overall, a fun-filled, family-filled, perfect day!

It's been a year already?

Seriously? Someone please tell me how this happened! My baby... Well I don't even  know if I can call her that anymore. She is my LITTLE GIRL! Everything about her amazes me. Everything.

Yesterday I had to work a long day. 12 hours away from her. But it was so I could have today off with her. A whole day off with her on her first birthday. A whole day to spend with her without any work. No emails. No texts. Nothing but her and me time.

Anyways, back to yesterday. So yeah, every time I would look at the clock, I was transported back to exactly one year ago at that time. I kept remembering every thing I was doing at that exact moment one year ago. People tell me it's silly to do that because eventually I won't remember every minute. But I think the reason I was so aware of every minute last year was because I was being induced. I was counting those minutes until we would go to the hospital and I would get to meet my daughter. I told me dad it was different than when he and mom were pregnant with me: They had no clue I would be coming when I did. So they didn't notice all the things that day. But I did "know." Sort of. I knew when I would be heading to the hospital and I knew it would be a few hours after that when she could be here. So yeah, one year ago I was making memories, storing them, because every minute was important to me.

One year ago at 8am I had my last doctor visit. I went to breakfast with my mom and stepdad at Cracker Barrel. I paced the house, cleaning what little I could, waiting for my dad and Grammy to come in. We went to dinner at Texas Roadhouse. We came back to the house where I proceeded to pack and unpack and repack my suitcase probably a good 5 times! I knew I should get some sleep because the next day was going to be a rough one, but I was too excited. We checked in around 11pm. Question and answer session with the nurses. Watched my guy sleep on that crappy fold out. Watched crappy TV (because really, is there ever anything good on at 2am?) At 4:30am on 7/2/13 the doctor came in and broke my water. Epidural at 9am. At 12:25pm I told everyone I was fully dilated. They all laughed at me. I forced my guy to go get the nurse because I was THAT sure. He laughed as he brought her in. She laughed as I told her I was done. She wasn't laughing when she told the assistant nurses to go get the doctor and shoo-ing everyone out of the room. I pushed for almost 2 hours. Then, at 2:12pm, they laid my daughter on my belly. I wanted to hold her so bad, but they took her to clean her up. Her dad looked at me, then at her in the rolling bed, then at me, asking me if I'd mind if.... I told him to go meet our daughter. I don't know how much time passed before people were allowed in, but I remember the room being flooded with people who wanted to see Emma.

That was a year ago and I remember all of it. Like I am watching a home video.

And now. Now my daughter is this little person. She is getting into everything. Here is a little breakdown of the little person ruling my life:

• She's a running fool! She doesn't walk so much as she runs. Last night, as we were playing before bed, I had my phone plugged in to charge. I watched as she unplugged the charger (not like ripped it, but actually unplugged it)... and IMMEDIATELY RAN AWAY! Haha little stinker. She knew what she was doing and when I "ran" after her, she had gone to the bathroom and was waiting for me. She had this HUGE smile on her face when she saw me. Then she ran back to Daddy, laughing the whole way.

• Her vocabulary is huge! Mama (or Mum), Dada (or Dah-DEE), Nonna, Mamaw, Timmy, Shawn, Poppa, No, Pees (Please), Tank Ew (Thank you), Toof-bah-sh (toothbrush), That's mine, I want that, Ball, Ba (bottle), Yuh You (Love You)...

• She loves to open the microwave when it dings that her bottle is warmed. She also loves to close the microwave door.

• She loves when we let her open/close the door, turn the light switches on or off, pull the shower curtain back... She loves being a big kid.

• She only wants to eat what we are eating. Like--what is on our plate. She doesn't want her own plate. She wants OUR plate!

• She loves baby dolls.

• Everything is a phone and every "phone" should play music. She is already Tech-savvy. She can work a phone. She mimics her Daddy with his Playstation remote.

• This kid loves to dance! She can keep the beat of almost anything after just a few seconds of hearing it. She's a genius, at least in my opinion. May have the stuff to be a Prima Ballerina or dance Hip Hop. We're not sure yet! haha

• She likes to "tidy up." She puts her toys in containers...whether or not they are the containers we would put them in doesn't really matter. The other day I found her "stacker" toy sticking up out of the recycling can we have! We find our cell phones in random places. We still can't find the TV remote and it's been missing for almost a month now!

• She's not a huge fan of the pool yet. She has to be held the entire time. Won't go in the sitting-floaty thing we got her. And she HATES when her daddy and uncle rough-house in the pool. 

I'll post again with her "One Year Pics." And some fun stories from her birthday-day!

Catching Up

I know it's been awhile. The thing is, it's getting harder and harder to find the energy to up-date this blog as often. Not just because I am constantly chasing after my toddling 10 month old (YIKES!). No, mostly it's because one of my biggest reasons for keep this blog was so my Pappy could stay up-to-date on Emma. He and my Grammy lived so far away and couldn't get out here much, so I thought having this blog would allow them to keep up with her fun stories and new activities. Now that he's gone, a huge gust of wind has blown my sail right over, toppling me, making me struggle to even view this blog. When I open up my internet, I have 5 "home pages" automatically pop up. This is one of them. Each time is a reminder Pappy isn't here for me to share my stories with anymore. I'd have the whole post mentally prepped out in my mind of what I'm going to write, open the internet, see that tab at the top, and stop. I couldn't force myself to actually click on it to start the post.

Today, when I feel the worst I have felt in as long as I can remember (fever, migraine, sore throat, dizzy, whole body feels like it is shutting down), today is the day I decide to actually bring everyone up to date! haha So here are some fun new moments with Emma.

• She is talking, like a lot! I can never remember what I've already said so here is a list of her vocabulary to date: Mama (more often than not I get called "Mum" though!), Dada, no, uh-oh, again, more, mamaw & nonna, baba, num-num. 
• She knows who people are. She knows I am "Mum," her daddy is "dada," my mom is "mamaw" and her daddy's mom is "nonna." On Easter, her daddy came into her room to get her from her crib. She was playing happily in her crib when she looked up at him and said "OH! Hi Da!" She puts actual sentences together!!
• When I ask if she is hungry she will smack her lips together or start chanting "Num num. Num num." She also knows when the microwave goes off, it more than likely is her bottle and she starts flapping her arms and shrieking.
• She is a speed demon crawler. She can get anywhere now and wants to get there quickly!
• She climbs the stairs. Remind me to thank whomever taught her to do that. Sheesh!
• She is trying to walk. The most she has taken is two consecutive steps. Then she freezes because we are all excited and holding our breath. She gets nervous, plops down, laughs, and then starts crawling to wherever it was she wanted to go. The only bad thing about this whole "trying to walk" thing is she is constantly falling down and bumping her butt on things. She is a little daredevil though and doesn't seem to care. Sometimes she cries, but only because she thinks we will pick her up.
• She throws the ball to where she wants it to go. She picks it up, aims, and throws. Like to a person. Today for example, she aimed right for me and hit me 4 out of 5 times. (The time she missed was because we were all laughing so hard, she started laughing and when she went to throw it her other hand hit it.) I think it was John Cusak in the movie Martian Child where he said "The Professional Baseball players just have to hit 3 out of 10. And if they do just a little better, just a tiny bit better, than they are superstars." Well, I guess my girl is a SUPERSTAR!!! 
• She is such a girly girl. She loves her doll. See, before Christmas, her Nonna and I were at my favorite store and walking down the toy aisle. Emma has NEVER before (and never since) actively reached for a toy I hadn't put in front of her. But that day she saw this little dolly and she was freaking out. So of course we got it for her. She has gotten a few other dolls since then, but she always wants this doll. She goes looking for it in her toy bins in the living room.  
• She also loves stuffed animals. She has a little seahorse that stays in her crib overnight. The other morning, I got her out of her crib and she was clutching her seahorse. I changed her diaper and then went to take her downstairs to play. She still had the seahorse! She gets in these "moods" kind of where she wants a specific toy and that's it.
• Sophia the First. That is her favorite thing right now. I can't believe it since she is only 10 months old, but this girl has chosen Princess Sophia as her favorite thing right now. She has a little doll, some jammies, all kinds of things. I even went ahead and bought her a Princess Sophia Halloween basket. It's really a little Easter basket, but it was on sale for $3 in the after-Easter clearance. 
• She hides things now. We have to be super careful about what we put down and where because she will "clean up" for us. She has hidden her daddy's cell phone in her bouncy ball dino game. She has also hidden his PS4 remotes in there! Then there are our TV and other remotes. She plays with those and then "puts them away" but she doesn't put them away where they are easy to find!! She is a lot like me in that she likes to "clean up." 
• We recently got a shelving system with plastic tubs for her toys. Now she is able to see almost all her toys and decide for herself what she wants to play with. We also have the rubber floor puzzle pieces as a playmat in the living room. So now she will go, grab a toy, and take it back to the mat to play with it! I have taught her well!!!
• She shakes her head No. 
• She waves hi and bye on command. Her doctor told me she is actually really advanced in that regard. They told me usually babies wave just because they have learned how. They don't normally understand "bye bye" and wave on command until almost 15 months.
• She dances!! When she learned to stand on her own, she also learned she could dance!! She kind of looks like a mix between Elvis and a bird! She pulls her shoulders back, cocks her elbows, pulls her arms back and bounces. Sometimes she puts one arm above her head and bounces. Sometimes she squats a little, sticks one leg in front of her, and bounces that way. 
• She loves the Talking Tomcat app. Every time I  click on it, she smiles really big and starts laughing. She is such a whiz with the phone in general!

Okay, that is it for now. Maybe I'll get back into this sooner rather than later. But it really is hard. It's hard to know these stories aren't going to be read by so many people who loved us and waited so long to meet Emma. People who wanted her as much as I did. I'll get better. I know it. It's just a LOT harder than I thought it would be.

It's a whole new ball game!

Okay, I am SEVERELY delayed in reporting on the new things going on with Emma. I wanted to make sure I finished up my little mini-series uninterrupted and that put this on hold. But here we go:

• Emma can crawl!! She started crawling on Wednesday, February 5th. Her Nonna was watching her and I guess they were practicing or doing tummy time or something like that. Anyways, I was pulling into their driveway when I got a text from my boyfriend. It was video of Emma crawling to a little duck. I immediately ran into their house and made Emma crawl again! haha  

•  Emma got the flu. We noticed on Monday of last week that she was a little less active than normal, but didn't think too much of it. No, that's sort of a lie. She basically refused to sleep that night without me holding her--which meant I got ZERO sleep. (Not good when you have to go to work and you are still new). So I actually took her temperature and it was fine. So the next day I took it again and nothing. I dropped her off with her Nonna and Grandpa. Later that afternoon I get a text saying she tested positive for the flu. MAN did I feel terrible. But, I did everything I was supposed to do. And she seemed fine, not fever, no throwing up, none of that. And even after she tested positive for the flu, she still didn't ACT like she had it. She was really clinging, but that was the only real indicator she didn't feel all that great.

• Emma is so in tuned to what is going on around her. She now looks for things when she drops them. And she remembers things. Like the doctor. Now Emma only sees her doctor when we take her for her shots--so not all that often. BUT, she had to go see her that Tuesday she got the flu. And--from what I've been told--Emma remembered the doc and did not like her! haha. They tell me she was playful with the Assistant and Tech person but when the doc walked in-BAM! Baby girl shifted and grabbed ahold of Nonna's hair and wouldn't let go. She wanted NOTHING to do with the doc!

• We are having some very fun moments with her. She is so smart that she puts things together now in her mind. Like her bottle. She knows that when Mommy makes her bottle, I add water to a clear container, then a powder; shake and give it to her. Thing is: Matt makes his morning protein shakes the same way! And it's vanilla flavored! So whenever Emma sees Daddy make his morning shake, she gets all piffy! haha She starts "yelling" and batting her hands on the high chair. Her eyes start to bulge out even!

• She is "talking" up a storm now!! She just babbles away. Telling us all about her day. What she wants. What she doesn't want. You just know there's a story going on and she's trying to get it out as best she can. I simply cannot wait to hear the stories she's got to tell. As smart as she is, I can bet there will be a few doozies in our future!

I have gone back to work. It's only part-time, and it's in the city; but I really am enjoying it. 3 days a week I get to go and interact with adults who aren't family. (My sister works there, but that's only one out of 10 or so people. As opposed to the vice versa being true when I am at home! lol) Anyways, I am doing what I was doing at the other office, but I get to take on a little more responsibility too. It's nice working with a smaller office and feeling like you are appreciated. Sure, there's stress to do a good job and go above what they are expecting, but that's true of all jobs. And yes, I have 3 long days (when you factor in the drive time). But it's only 3 days a week. I get 4-day weekends with my baby and my boyfriend every week.

I think Emma will be walking in the new few weeks, but not yet. Seriously. She now puts her hands on the ground and "walks them up" until she's in an inverted V. Then she's like: "Ummm, what do I do now?" haha It's really funny. And kind of sad. Because she's JUST learned to crawl and now she wants to WALK? Already?

Okay, well that wraps up this post. Sorry it took so long. Hopefully I'll be able to get back into the groove of things (or into a new groove with work and all) and can do better about posting.

G'NIGHT!

Staying organized--Clothing

You know, it is really hard to stay organized when you have a baby! If you are like me with a slight case of OCD, it can be nerve-racking. That being said, I have learned a few things I wanted to pass on to all moms. The next few posts will be a series on how I stayed/got organized after my baby was born.

The first topic:  

BABY CLOTHES!  How to ensure your baby wears every article of clothing they are given without going nuts

First: Don't put all the baby clothes in the closet or the dresser or wherever you are keeping them! ONLY have out the clothes in the size your baby currently wears. Yes, all the clothes are cute and you want to make sure you put your baby in each outfit, but you can become severely overwhelmed by the shear volume of articles of clothing.

This was something I learned on the fly. We started getting clothes for Emma from family and friends pretty early on. So--once her closet was put in--I sectioned everything out by size. I hung up all the jackets and one-piece outfits, put all the onesies in the dresser, and so on. I had everything up through size 12months put away in her room. Then she was born. And I felt like I was swimming in her clothes! They were all put away neatly. Everything was organized. But I was still overwhelmed. When she was about 3 weeks old I decided I had had enough. I went to my favorite store and bought two clear 20 gallon storage containers.

Mine are clear so I can see the clothes, but has a pink lid. The handles were very important to me, so I splurged a little on the containers.

Then I went through all of her clothes. I kept out anything size "Newborn" or size "0-3 months." Everything else was grouped together by size and put in the containers. I had tons!! I had to sort those into two groups because we had so many. All clothes up to 9months are in one container and the other is for everything 12months and up. (And yes, we already have a LOT of things size 2T/24months! lol)

As Emma outgrew things, I would change them out. About every 6 weeks I am going through her stuff because some things are size 3Months whereas others are size 3-6 months. (And yes, this frustrates the heck out of my OCD self because her clothing separators in her closet are "0-3months," "3-6months," "6-9months," etc. vs "newborn," "3months," "6months," "9months," etc.) As I put her stuff away, I sort it again! haha This time I sort into four groups:

• Clothes to give to her cousin who will be here in like 2 weeks. (YAY!)
• Clothes to keep for the next baby (AT A LATER DATE! lol) just in case we end up having another girl.
• Clothes to toss because they were ruined somehow--probably because we had faulty/defective diapers for a while.
• And then clothes to use for her future quilt. These are items which, every time I look at them, I can only see my baby girl in them. I can't imagine putting them on another baby--even if I do have another daughter. These are special to Emma and I want to make a quilt for her when she's about a year old of patches from her clothes, jammies, felt "diapers" from her baby shower, and other pieces like that.

Top: Items for her quilt. Middle: All the items she has outgrown already & we are keeping. Bottom: All clothes size 12months and up

So yeah, this takes a fairly decent amount of time, and you have to make sure you are constantly going through everything. You can't just take a stack of onesies, tie a ribbon (or string, whatever) around them, and toss them into the container. No way! You have to make sure the things you are putting away are things your baby cannot wear anymore. You do NOT want to constantly be going through things you have put away.

For example, every six weeks I have to go through ALL of Emma's pants. This is because she seems to be a size smaller in her pants than in her onesies or her dresses. She is almost 7 months old now, but I JUST put her in her 6 months pants. So her 3 month and 3-6 month pants were still in her dresser. And you also have to take into consideration that every brand is sized different. So while most of her onesies/shirts/dresses are size 6 month and working towards 6-9 month, she does have a few onesies that are 3-6 month.

Second: Only do the baby's laundry once (max TWICE) a week. At least at first. The problem is every outfit your child was given is probably adorable. You slip that shirt over their head, poke their little hands through the arms, pull those pants up and ... AWWW!! They suddenly make that outfit "One of [your] absolute favorites!" You are going to want to see your baby in that outfit again and again and again. And if you do laundry every day or so, the likelihood of you putting your baby in a repeat is higher. The more often your baby wears the same outfit, the less likely they are to get through the mountain of newborn and 0-3 month clothes.

Speaking of laundry: just go ahead and buy the baby detergent. Seriously. Yeah, I know it's a little pricey. I know they say the "Free and Clear" stuff is just as good. But it's not. Trust me. You want their clothes to stay soft and cuddly as long as possible. The baby detergent will do that so much better than the stuff we use on our own clothes. And it just smells like... well like Baby! PLUS: If you are following the tip above, than you are only doing laundry like 4-6 times a month. And, unless you have a diaper explosion and need to treat before you wash an item, you really only need to use a small amount. I never fill the cap passed the "1" marking. Well, I do if I have her high chair cover in there, but that's another thing entirely! haha Even then  I only fill to the "2." So a bottle of baby detergent can last you a really long time. They run about $16 a container. Emma is almost 7 months old. We aren't even halfway through a second container. So that comes down to, what?, $40 a year to keep your baby's clothes soft and smelling good? I think it's worth it. Plus, I figure this detergent was tested SPECIFICALLY for baby clothes use. The other stuff wasn't. So even though it says it's free and clear of those harsh chemicals and what not, is it really the safest thing to use on something that will be next to your baby's skin all day? I don't know about that. I'll stick to my baby detergent. That's just me though.

Third: When you do get around to doing the laundry, make sure you put the freshly cleaned clothes and such UNDER the clothes already in the drawers. For those things you are hanging in the closet, put them to the RIGHT of the "section." I have Emma's hanging clothes sorted by type: jackets, shirts, dresses, all-in-one outfits, etc. Once she wears a shirt, I will hang it up and put it to the far right side of the "shirts" section.

You see, you are more likely to pull a shirt or onesie or pair of pants from the top than sort and sift through a whole bunch trying to find that one thing you remember your baby looked so cute in. So by placing things which have already been worn on the bottom, you are increasing the chance of finding an adorable shirt that will become your new all-time favorite. 

The same is true of hanging clothes. You may not realize it, but we tend to scan clothes racks the same way we read: from left to right. You start on the left side and the first cute shirt or jacket or whatever you come to is usually the one you put on your baby. By placing the items they have already worn on the right, you are again increasing your chances of having your baby wear every item!

So come on now. Let's see the baby in another really cute outfit!

Your baby is going to have a LOT more newborn and 3 month clothes than any other size--maybe even more than the other sizes COMBINED! Everyone wants to see the new baby in something they got him or her, and they would rather see it sooner versus later. Who can blame them? They spent (probably) a lot of money on the outfit(s); they deserve to see the baby in it/them. Avoid the pitfall that is "The 'AWWW' Effect"!

EXCEPTIONS:

That being said, you also have to allow for "Exceptions to the Rules." As far as I can tell right now, there are three. First is the: "Christmas/ Thanksgiving/ Halloween/ New Year... Whatever" onesies and other items. Sure. Your baby may still fit in them. But are you really going to want to stroll around the mall in January with your baby wearing an orange onesie that says "My Daddy is under my spell"? No. Of course not. Halloween is over. If it's January, then Valentine's Day is approaching. So go ahead and toss the holiday themed items into the containers. Hold onto them because they are cute (you can always put them in a scrapbook or scrap-quilt if the next baby isn't on the same "schedule" as this baby), but you do not need them taking up valuable space in your nursery.

Another exception? Jackets. I think of baby jackets like I do my own: I always get them a size bigger than I do my shirts. Why? Well because if I am wearing a jacket, then I am obviously going to layer. And if my shirt is the same size as my jacket, then something is going to be too tight and I am going to be uncomfortable. So, that being said: If Emma is in size 6 month onesies and shirts, then I pull out her 9 month jackets. I will still keep her 6 month ones out, just in case, but I rarely go to those when I am picking out an outfit for her. Those are more likely to go in the diaper bag for emergencies. 

The final exception pertains to those with daughters: Get as much use out of the dresses as you can! Especially the summer ones. I still have some of Emma's 3 month summer dresses in her closet. Why? Because I put a pair of pants under it and suddenly it is a shirt. If it is really cold (or the dress is sleevless) you can add a long sleeve onesie under it as well. Conversely, bring out the winter dresses a little early so you can do layering. Put a short sleeve onesie under a sweater dress that's a size bigger and the baby won't feel as constricted (i.e. the jacket effect again). Voila! You have an extra 3 months of wear available to you! Genius, huh? LOL This way, once the pickings become a little slimmer, you can reuse those cute summer dresses in the winter. 

Okay. That's all I have on baby clothes for now. Hopefully these tips will work for you. Maybe you will find yourself a little less stressed by the mountain of clothes. Maybe you will actually be able to say "My baby wore every single thing they were given!" 

Or maybe you just got a good chuckle out of my frazzled state!

A (Simple) Great Day

It's only a little after 10am, I get that. But today has been so great so far that I just had to share. And it wasn't because of anything really big or major. We all have just had a really awesome morning! Especially after the day I had yesterday.

You see, yesterday Emma refused to be put down. She refused to sleep unless I was holding her. And I had a migraine. Not a great combination. At all. But then Daddy got home from work and Emma REALLY didn't want to go to sleep. She ate her dinner of pureed spinach and rutabaga mixed with cereal and formula at 5:30pm. Then by 6:30 she was going nuts again. I didn't think she could still be hungry but she shouldn't be that tired yet either! Ugh it was a rough 45 minutes until her Big Bedtime Bottle. And then she and I sat there and watched Daddy play his video game until she fell asleep. Put her in the crib and I passed out about 45 minutes later. I didn't get to check the clock for the first "mommy call" (where she fusses in her crib until I come in there), but it was sometime between 9:30pm and 12:30am. I picked her up, gave her the bink, and she went right back to sleep. I had to do it again at 12:30am. Same thing. 2:30am--same thing. 4:30am was a little harder. She wanted to be held and anytime I put her back in the crib she would wake up. That took almost 35-40 minutes to get her back in bed. I was bushed by then.

But then this morning happened. I heard Emma in the monitor by my bed. She was fussing a little, but nothing that required me to get up. (You get to know the difference in the fussing!) But then it got a little louder and a little louder. And then Daddy went and got her. He changed her (wet only!) diaper and brought her in our room to play. Those extra 15 minutes of laying in bed were HEAVEN!! Then we all played in our room for probably close to half an hour. Finally Daddy said we had to go eat breakfast and start the day.

He took her downstairs and put her in her high chair (which she LOVES to be in!). Then he started making his breakfast of oatmeal, bananas and egg whites. I made Emma her first thing of Oatmeal Cereal and grabbed an oatmeal bar for myself. Daddy even poured me my iced tea! So we all ate our oatmeal together in the kitchen. When Emma saw that Daddy was eating Oatmeal too, Ho BOY did her eyes light up! She kept reaching for his like "It's the same. We can share. Promise!"

After breakfast, Daddy took Emma into the living room to play. I had to do a ton of dishes from yesterday (I made homemade chicken and dumplings again--that's a lot of bowls!). Then I went and tidied the upstairs. Emma played in her jumperoo for about half an hour; Daddy played his video game. Then Emma and I went upstairs to figure out what she wanted to wear today until like 9:15. Then we went and made her snack-to-nap bottle. And by 9:30am (on the DOT) she was asleep.

Now Daddy's at the gym. I'm finishing up the housework that is impossible to do with Emma up (ahem, vacuuming). Than I will watch some TV and just relax until Daddy gets back home. Then I think we get to spend some family time. All-in-all, it's been an amazing day. Even if the rest of the day ends up sour, this morning was just so amazing, I think it would make up for it. And if this day stays this great; well I am truly a lucky lady!

New Year's Resolutions

They say if you write them down you are more likely to follow through with them. So here are mine:

1. I resolve to read at least one book a week. By that I mean either take a little time (maybe 30-45 minutes) EACH day to read a book, or allow myself a good few hours ONE day. I know it's hard to finish a book when you can't focus on it (I figured that out for sure when I did my reading blog a few years back); so I'm not going to berate myself for not FINISHING a book a week. That will be the ultimate goal, but just allowing myself to take a personal break and not feel terrible about it will be a huge improvement over what I allow myself now. I mean, I feel guilty if I take a shower while Emma is awake! haha
2. I resolve to get back to a healthy weight. This means adding exercise to my week. Again, I can't let Mommy-guilt take over. Included in this: I want to participate in a 5K again this coming year. I did a few weeks before I started dating my guy, and was pregnant when it was decent enough weather to do another one. So 2014... I want to do it again.
3. I resolve to be more crafty. I see all these projects I want to do for each holiday. Now I just have to DO them! I'm following my friend's blog (Check it out: Love & Lion). She has all these great ideas and fun crafts. They are all things I want to do. I always say the reason I don't is because I don't have many friends my own age around here. But I'm not going to let that stop me anymore. I'm going to find the friends I DO HAVE up here and make it happen. Once a month, or every other month. Something. I just want to have a house that feels like home. Where you look around and find little things that just make that space unique. 
4. I resolve to be a good mom. This is something I work on every day as it is. I always want to be someone Emma looks up to and respects and admires. I don't know if I believe that she will remember things from now, but I DO think the things we do now will filter into the things we do later--things she WILL remember. So I try and make sure I work on my bad habits. I actively think about my words now. I actively think about how I present myself. I actively think about how I view myself. Because making it an active decision now will make it an involuntary action or thought later. 
5. I resolve to accept my life is different and not try to maintain certain standards I set before I became a mom. Example? I have to accept I will never have an entirely clean house ever again! Just (sort of) kidding. But seriously, I do have to accept that, for now, I will only be able to work on a little bit of my house at a time. I might be able to get the kitchen clean and laundry started one day & have to leave the living room and folding the laundry for another. I am having to accept it will take me probably 3 days to clean my whole house until I can give Emma age-appropriate chores. (I.E.: Putting her toys away when she's 1, helping me sort the laundry into colors when she's two, etc. Things that will make her self-sufficient--the toys--or educate her--matching like colors with the laundry.)
6. I resolve to carve out time each week for boyfriend/girlfriend time. Time where my guy and I don't have to be on Mommy-Daddy duty. Where we can go back for a while and keep our relationship moving forward. This may seem counter-productive to the previous Resolution, but it's really not. I honestly believe that if you only allow yourself to satisfy one role (mommy/daddy) then every other relationship can suffer. If I only think of my guy as the father of my daughter and forget to think of him as my boyfriend, than I will miss so many great attributes he has to offer.

So there you go. My New Year's Resolutions. In a nutshell: 1) Read each week. 2) Exercise. 3) Do more crafts. 4) Be a good mom. 5) Accept my life as it currently is. And 6) Make sure to continue cultivating my relationship.

Happy New Year's Eve everyone!

Christmas miracle

There are some things which just cannot be explained. Case in point: This time last year, my boyfriend & I gave his mom a Christmas ornament: Tinkerbell in a glass ball. I wasn't a huge "Peter Pan-fan," there are other Disney stories I like a lot more. But we picked it because Laurie loves Disney and I didn't see too many things Tinkerbell/Peter Pan in her house. At that time we had no idea we were having a little girl. As a matter of fact, my guy honestly believed we were having a boy and refused to think otherwise! lol

Almost immediately after Emma was born, my sister started calling my baby girl our little "Tinker-belly." The name stuck. It's the reason Emma was Tinkerbell for Halloween. Yesterday I went to pick Emma up from her Nonna's and saw the ornament. I had completely forgotten about it and the story until I saw it. I showed it to Emma and told her the story. She was completely silent/still as she looked at the little glass ball. And that's saying something, because my little girl is full of energy and wants to be doing something ALL THE TIME!

For those of you who need "proof" of higher powers or faith, then I offer this as tangible evidence. God was showing me, at 12 weeks pregnant, that I was going to have a little Tinkerbell. She is my perfect little girl with her blonde hair and blue eyes; her feisty personality and complete love of family. She is my miracle baby, my dream come true. And yes, sometimes I wish we were in Never-Never Land so she could stay little forever. And then again I don't. I cannot wait to see her grow, see her accomplishments and setbacks, see her fall in love and have a family of her own. But for now I will bathe in her perfect glow, her infectious laugh, and her tenacious spirit.

I love you Emmaleigh. Merry Christmas, baby girl!

Thanksgiving

Okay, I'm a little behind on this one. Things have just been going non-stop around here for a while now. This is basically the first time I've had to stop and catch my breath.

I have to say, Thanksgiving was a pretty good day. Both my guy and I were off, which was nice. It seems silly to have to say that, but our schedules were so not in sync that week. We tried to sleep in but Emma had other plans for us. We were up bright and early & like 6am. We played for a bit. Her Daddy even changed her and got her dressed for the day. Well, I had picked out 2 outfits for him to choose from, but he did make the final decision! lol

We first went to his dad's mom's for dinner. Emma got to see her great-grandma and great-grandpa, an aunt, 2 uncles, and a cousin. She even got to eat mashed potatoes!

Then we went to his mom's. We ate mostly desserts there since we went RIGHT after dinner. But I did manage to steal quite a bit of the ham! lol I am much more of a ham person than a turkey person. I mean, I love deep fried turkey, but I would still--even then--choose a ham over turkey if given the option.

We took a lot of pictures of Emma with her cousin "A." I swear, my heart melts a little bit every time I see the two of them together. "A" absolutely LOVES Emma. Always wants to make sure Emma isn't crying. At one point we told "A" to sit if he wanted to hold her. He looked right up at me and goes "Why? Her mine." Emma loves him back, too. You can see it. She was being held by one of her great-aunts, but when "A" came near, she reached as far as she could for him. She kept trying to get him. And they played together so easily. He would press the button on the Singing Frosty-the-Snowman just so Emma would laugh. They are going to be such good friends as they grow up together. It makes me so happy to see that.