My Little Girl

My Little Girl

Monday, April 15, 2013

Really Tough Decision Made

Today sucks.

For a while now, my boyfriend and I have been trying to figure out the best way to make everything nice in the house, while having a dog who is used to doing what he wants. Seemed it didn't matter what we did, we were fighting a losing battle.

See, my pup is a chewer. And he has a little bit of a Napoleon complex. So if another dog walked by our bay window, Jax would run to it, put his paws on the little ledge at the bottom, bark, claw into the wood, and sometimes he really wanted to show how tough he was and would chew on the window sill. Then he'd run to the sliding door (also made of wood) and do the same thing.

He also had a problem with "going" in the basement. He's smart enough to know that he can't go on the carpet, because that I can't clean up. But the basement is all wood flooring which is easier to clean, so he'd go there.

My guy would try to discipline Jax whenever he'd see the window, but Jax wouldn't even go near the window when we were home! So disciplining him wasn't that effective. And we'd gate the stairs to the basement, but then we had to use that gate on the window... so he was back to going to the basement. It got to the point where we were kenneling him all day, so he couldn't do something that would get him in trouble.

Next issue: My dog is a SOCIAL dog. He loves to be around other dogs and play. Well we just had him. So he was home alone all day. Then we'd get home from working and just want to relax for the 3 hours or so before we go to bed. Now, since Jax was in his kennel all day, we didn't want to put him in there at night too. So he was sleeping in our bed. Which meant that I wasn't sleeping anymore.

Being 6 months pregnant, it's hard enough to sleep I hear. I am a really light sleeper on top of that.

So today I did something I know is the right decision: I took Jax to my mom's. She's going to keep him now. And it breaks my heart.

I cried when I dropped him off. I cried when I walked in and he wasn't there to greet me. I cried when my boyfriend's telling me we'll figure out a way to keep Jax--even going so far as to promise to get another dog if it'll make me and Jax happy. I know he's just saying that because he doesn't want to see me sad. Because we both know another dog isn't the answer.

I know I did the right thing. Because it's not the selfish thing. See, if I were being selfish, I would have kept him.... because he made me happy. Keeping him would make ME happy. But Jax wouldn't be happy. I could tell he was lonely. That's why he acted out probably. And my guy wouldn't be happy. Not really. Because he's working really hard on our home. Making it nice. Putting touches around so it feels like a home we can bring Emma to. And with Jax chewing and scratching and everything, well my guy was getting frustrated. I understand his frustration. It's completely valid.

Doesn't mean letting go of my dog is any easier. It should be. I should be happy knowing I made the best decision for him. But I miss him soo much already. I've had him for 4 years and love him so much. It's because I love him that much that I'm not driving over to my mom's RIGHT NOW to get him (even though my bf said I should/could).  

So I know today--and tomorrow, and probably the next day--are going to royally suck. 

He's a cool dude!

The look I got every time I asked if he wanted to go for a walk.

At Christmas

Me and Jax

He's seriously smiled for the camera!

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Working on the nursery

We have been working on the nursery little by little since the Super Bowl. After a while though, we started putting it on hold, waiting until we were closer to really get things going.

Yesterday we went to see some friends in Rockford. I was talking to one of our friends' mom about the nursery, trying to figure out what I wanted on the walls (paintings, pictures, general decor), how I wanted to lay it out, what I was going to be able to keep in there... that sort of stuff. I drew a sketch (a very rough sketch) of how I wanted it to look and gave it to her. She and her husband are really artistic and said they would like to paint some of the more intricate decor on the walls. We are going to have a tree painted in one corner with her bookshelf in the trunk of the tree, the saying "Oh the Places You'll Go" above her crib, and a hot air balloon (from the Dr. Seuss book) with some clouds on a separate wall. I'm also going to get pictures of Dr. Seuss characters in frames for the wall by her closet. They are coming to see us Memorial Day weekend to do the artwork for us.

Today we got back into decorating her room. We went to Home Depot to gt the things we needed for her closet. I pretty much knew what I wanted, how I wanted it to look. When we got home, my guy decided he wanted to start working on the outside today too. I had to run errands while he did the major work. When I came home, he started working on the area outside our bay window and I did the finishing touches on the closet.

After I put the shelves up and her clothes in order, I decided to rearrange some of the furniture. Hoping this works out so I can have all the furniture in her room without it feeling too crowded.

Here are a few pictures I took today of her nursery.

Her handmade rocking chair and baby doll bench!

Her totally tripped out closet!

The dresser/future-changing table.

Her handmade baby rocker rocking cradle with my baby blankets.

Handmade Baby doll bench.

Her tiny chair with "Foots."

Another picture of her closet.

This picture frame will get hung up above the window.

Need to hang up these frames and valance.

Her crib. I love this one!

More things to hang up.

Friday, April 12, 2013


I hate having the hiccups!! I swear. Even before I got pregnant, I hated them. If I hiccup for more than like 2 minutes I get a weird sick feeling in my stomach. Ugh.

So that's why when a girl I work with started telling me to be on the look-out for when Emma starts hiccuping, I have to say I wasn't thrilled. I was afraid it would be like when I hiccup: All that jerking on my diaphragm making me sick. Boy was I wrong!

Yesterday I was sitting at work in a little mini-meeting and felt a little "pop." Kind of like when you are eating Rice Krispies Cereal.... Not a scary thing, but still not 100% normal. My hands flew to my stomach and held it. I wasn't worried, per se, but I hadn't felt anything like this before. Maybe a minute later it happened again in the same spot. And then again. And again. It kept happening for a solid 10-12 minutes! After I figured out what she was doing, I just kept my hands there. I couldn't believe it!

It was so strange to think about. There's this little mini-person inside me, hiccuping!! I just had these images in my head of what she must look like while it's going on. lol

She did this periodically throughout the day. What I didn't realize about her hiccups that I quickly learned is: She was sitting on my bladder when she was hiccuping, so I had to run to the bathroom!! haha

Oh the weird quirks of being pregnant!

Sunday, April 7, 2013

"Surprise" Vacation

A few weeks ago my boyfriend's mom mentioned she and most of her family were going to Disney World towards the end of the month. I thought that sounded like fun, but was pretty sure we weren't going to be able to do anything like that for a while. I mean, I really wanted a little time away from everything. The most I was hoping for was a little weekend getaway, maybe an hour's drive. Nothing like this.

About 2 weeks ago, my guy says his stepdad invited him to Costa Rica for a week around the same time as the Disney trip. I figured it would be the only time he would be able to get away before things get nerve-wracking. I told him if he wanted to go, then he should. It sounded like a good time: fishing, visiting a beautiful foreign country, hanging out with just the guys for a while. He said he'd think about it. Then he figures he might not be able to with classes he needs to take, wanting to save his vacation days, etc.

On Easter, my guy tells me he's seriously thinking about maybe us going to Disney. He said he'd have to look into it some more though. I put in a request for that week off, so it would be on file in case we were able to go; if not, I could always pull it. I called my doctor and got the go-ahead. She said I just have to make sure they let me stand up and walk the center aisle no more than 2 hours into the flight. Then he tells me he has to take a test for work that week. I meant to pull the request the next day, but we were so busy, I didn't have time to remember to go up there and remove it.

On Friday he tells me we're going!! He's worked it all out. We were trying to figure out the best way to get there and back, days we could go (his family's staying a little longer than we can), etc.

Of course, Friday is also the day we find out the injector pump blew in the crawl space. You know, the space I just put all our luggage in about 2 weeks ago. Ugh. Oh, and clothes are something else we are running into. I have 1 pair of maternity jeans, maybe 3 shirts, and maybe 3 dresses. No shorts, not a large variety of clothing. We've been trying really hard not to buy maternity clothes because I'm not going to need them for too much longer, and I'm in scrubs 5 days a week. But then again, after wearing the exact same thing on repeat to every event, every weekend, every everything... you start to feel like a shlub. So I'll probably have to go out and get at least 2 outfits. (I have to buy a super nice dress anyways for the work party in mid-May so....)

But yeah... I'm going to Disney!! Last time I went I was like 13 and it was hurricane season. My sisters, cousin, Grammy and I went. We had a blast, but it did rain the entire time. We have some fun pictures from that trip, and it could have been horrible. Thing is, we made it fun because it was the experience. That's what my guy is worried about now. He's afraid I won't have any fun. He says I'll be 6 and a half months pregnant, walking around, in the heat, can't ride any rides... But I know I'm going to have fun!!
  • It's probably not going to be as hot as he thinks (I don't remember Florida being unbearable in April when I lived there).
  • Sure we'll walk alot. But since I can't ride most of the rides they'll want to go on, I'll get to sit a lot too. I can take lots of breaks, drink lots of water...
  • I always have a lot of trouble getting on that first roller coaster anyways. This time, instead, I'll maybe get to ride some of the kiddie rides with Matt's cousin's son (who's almost 3). Get a taste of what it will be like for me in the near future! That's starting to sound more and more fun too!
  • The place we are staying has a shuttle back and forth from there to the parks. Worst case scenario, I just take the shuttle back to the hotel and relax by the pool or nap!
See? I'm all about finding the positive in this. Am I a little worried about flying? Yes, but only because I don't know how long I'll be able to sit there before my back aches; not worried about the pressure. So I'll back those Icy Hot patches! Or something along those lines. We'll make adjustments.

I'm like a little kid now. Just waiting to go!

Today is...

6 months!! When looking at the "standard" calendar, I have exactly 3 months until little Emma's due date! When I look at the "Doctor" calendar, I am 27 weeks.

This is blowing my mind! Time is flying by. I am at the point where I am really starting to get into nest-mode. And it's starting to freak me out. I'm trying to postpone really getting worked up since there is still 3 months/13 weeks, but it's hard.

Here's my To Do List, so far:
  1. Put the closet system in her room
  2. Paint the "tree" and find a corner booksystem (will really give us more space)
  3. Get the carpets around the house cleaned professionally (I can't work the carpet cleaner at this point)
  4. Find some cute decor for her room. Nothing much, but I would like to paint an air balloon on one wall, maybe some clouds; find some cute pictures to hang up; personalize some things with her name....
  5. Hang blinds and valance, find curtains
That's all I can think of off the top of my head. But it's starting to feel like crunch time. And I don't want to get so overwhelmed towards the end.

Diaper Bags

I hate when I have a "tote purse" and go to look for something only to open the purse and find everything all cluttered at the bottom. Drives me nuts!! I have to know where everything is in my bag. So add in the fact I'll be toting around all my stuff plus everything for a baby, and I've become ridiculously picky!

I have friends who love to buy purses. They say they have a different purse for the occasion and what they need. I'm not like that. I like to have one purse that will do everything. So I'm the same way with this diaper bag thing. This seems to be the HARDEST thing for me to register for!! I cannot find one I love, one the reviews say is durable, but also has the amenities I need. Like pockets. I love compartments in my purses, and I figure that's something I should look for with a diaper bag too.

I spent more time with the diaper bag registry than almost any other part. That may sound bad, but think about it: It's easy to get safety ratings for things like cribs, bouncers, car seats, strollers, etc. Once you have a good brand, then you look for something you like. Easy enough. For a diaper bag, though, it's all about personal preference. Yeah you can knock some out with the reviews about "It won't stay closed," "It came apart at the seams," or even "It's not the color it appears to be." But how are you supposed to know about the way it *feels* when you have the bag?

So today I was on a baby board and reading some of their posts. One was about diaper bags. They asked anyone recommended Vera Bradley diaper bags. And that got me thinking: I have 2 VB bags and love them!! One is a small red duffel I've had for 10 years and it's in perfect condition. The other is a huge pink duffel I've had for probably 8 years, again in near perfect condition. There's a slight stain on one pocket because a pen burst, but because VB has the print it does, I'm the only one who notices.

I went to their website today and found not one--but FOUR diaper bags I love!! Problem is they are all over $100. I'm trying to justify to myself it's worth it to spend that kind of money on a bag. I NEVER spend that much money on one item frivolously. But since I know the quality of VB bags, their durability, their room, their compartments... everything about the brand is amazing. I read the reviews for the four I liked best and one turned out to have just as many bad reviews as good; all having to do with spacing and pocket size, nothing to do with quality. In fact everyone who said they couldn't use it as a diaper bag said they still use it as a gym bag or other purse. So not a total loss, but not something I'd look into buying right now since I need an Emma-bag--not a Rosie-bag!

After everything, I really want a Vera Bradley Diaper bag!! Here are pictures of the three I want in the colors/styles.
Vera Bradley: Make a Change in "Baroque"

Vera Bradley: Make a Change in "Lime's Up."

Vera Bradley: Make a Change in " Dogwood"

Vera Bradley: Convertible Baby Bag in "Dogwood"

Vera Bradley: Make a Change in "Classic Black"
Am I nuts? Is it ridiculous to even think about getting a bag *this expensive*? Or does it make sense because it will last from newborn probably until kindergarten, and then becomes a personal purse? Seriously, I love VB bags, but they are so expensive, I never buy them for myself. Did I mention the red bag was something I won in a raffle and valued at $70, and the large pink bag was originally $250 but I got it at a Sak's outlet--and on sale there!

Oh boy, I just need to stay away from the VB website!! I just found this!!
Vera Bradley: Baby Bottle Caddy in "Dogwood"

Friday, April 5, 2013

Daddy felt her!

For the past two weeks or so I have been trying to get my boyfriend to feel Emma moving around in my belly. But every time he would put his hand there to feel her, she would just stop. It was soo frustrating!!

Well tonight I made Linguini and Clam Sauce for dinner. Afterwards we were laying on the couch watching TV when she started doing some MAJOR flip flops. I put his hand where she was doing the most moving. We were waiting and waiting for her to move again. I was afraid the time had passed, yet again. He was like "No, I still....wait. Yeah. I just felt her." 

I was beyond excited!! And you should have seen the look on his face. He was shocked because it was STRONG!! And then she kept kicking. And kicking. And kicking!! It was like she knew her Daddy could feel her.

This was the moment I have been waiting for since I first felt her kick me. And let me tell you... if these kicks are any indicator on her personality, we have a feisty one on our hands. And a quick learner. She went from one little "bloop" to a full-fledged thump that I could feel in a matter of days. Today she went from "Daddy can't feel anything" to "Daddy is getting beat up!!" No in between for my baby girl!

Monday, April 1, 2013

Crappy Day

Well this has probably been the least fun 24 hours of my pregnancy so far.

Last night, my bf and I left his mom's house after Easter dinner and dessert. I had taken a little nap, which I haven't done in a really long time. But I didn't think anything of it.

We got home and almost immediately I wanted to go back to sleep. I didn't want to watch TV or read or anything. After about 15 minutes I was burning up. Again, nothing "new" since I am almost always warmer than everyone else around me. I simply kicked off the covers and tried to go to sleep. Things went downhill from there.

Suddenly I was the warmest I have *ever* been. Nothing helped. I pointed the fans towards me. Basically kicked the comforter off the bed completely. Pushed my bf and the dog away. But it was like I was burning up from the inside. Nothing helped.

Then it felt like my stomach was caving in on itself. Not my belly, but my actual stomach, where the food sits. My whole body started to clench up. I had the hardest time breathing. My poor guy had no idea how to help. He kept rubbing my back and telling me to calm down because that wasn't helping my breathing. But it seemed like the more I tried to calm down, the worse I felt. I repeatedly got out of bed thinking I was going to be sick, only to just have a ton of spit.

After almost 25 minutes of this, I jerked up on my knees and held my stomach. Then I threw up in the bed. I bolted (well as best as I could considering I'm 6 months pregnant and my whole body ached) to the bathroom. I made it to the bathroom where I proceeded to throw up for the next 10 minutes. It was so bad, when I woke up this morning, I saw I had burst blood vessels in my face again. Not a cute sight.

My guy was amazing though and helped me clean everything up so I didn't have to do it in the morning.

Woke up at 4am with the alarm going off. I started to get up to hit the snooze, and my head started spinning. I knew it wasn't going to be a good thing. I figured I would go as long as possible to see if I felt better before actually calling off of work. I didn't want to NOT go in, but it wasn't looking good. By 7am, I couldn't move without feeling like I was going to be sick again. So I ended up taking the day off.

Normally, I would use a day off to its fullest. Laundry done. Grocery shopping. Cleaning the house top to bottom. Checking on things online. Paying bills. Etc. Not today. Today if I did more than one thing, or was up for more than like 6 minutes, I felt sick again. I ended up having to take an almost 2 hour nap today to recoup from a shower.

It's hard enough to be sick. It's harder still to be sick and know that there's really no meds you can take at this point in my pregnancy to feel better. And it's ever harder to look around at a house you really want to pick up and know that you just can't. Because then you'll just be back at square one. And taking two days off work just isn't possible.

Emmaleigh Grace

Emmaleigh Grace