My Little Girl

My Little Girl

Friday, June 7, 2013

How much longer?!? (Part 1)

30 days! That's it. 30 days until little Ms. Emmaleigh Grace's due date. I can't believe how fast the past 8 months have gone... and dread how LONG I know this next month is going to be! haha

Every day there is something else I can't do, it seems like. Sleep, for example. I CANNOT sleep! I get into bed around 9pm because I know that's when I should be going to sleep. But it's impossible to get comfortable. I will literally spend 2 whole hours tossing and turning. I can't get the pillows right (and yes--pillows. As in: I need at least 5 just for me!). Or I'm already sweating just from laying down on top of the covers. My legs feel sooo heavy and there's no good way to position them so I can get comfy.

Housework is getting a LOT harder. I almost can't keep up with it during the week. I get out of breath when I try to bring the laundry basket(s) up or down the 2 flights of stairs. And when the laundry is washed and dried, then there's the whole issue of folding it. Ugh. I try not to make or leave messes when I leave a room, just so that's one less thing I have to worry about the next day. And just the upkeep of each and every room makes me exhausted. I make To Do Lists, mentally going through every room, trying to figure out what needs to be done... and as soon as it's done, I don't want to do it! It seems like so much. But I know me and I WILL NOT bring my baby girl home to a place that isn't *clean*! So let the internal/physical battle continue!

Making dinner is difficult only because nothing sounds good anymore. Except Rice. I could eat rice 2-3 times a day, every day. As a matter of fact, yesterday I had rice from the Mexican restaurant next door to where I work for lunch AND dinner!! I bought 2 side orders for lunch knowing I'd only eat one, and saved the other one for dinner. And that was about all I ate during those meals. Well, I had a baked potato with butter and ranch (no--not a pregnancy thing because that's the way I've ALWAYS had my baked potatos! lol). But seriously, eating is a chore too. My boyfriend said the other day that eating stopped being fun now that he's trying to get back into "fighting" shape. (In his other words: He wants to lose his Emma before I do!) I told him I've felt that way for a WHILE now!

Work is hard too. I have almost no energy. In part because I can't sleep. And in part because I generally feel worn out at work. I sit there and do computer work all day. But when I leave I feel like I ran a marathon. It doesn't make sense. If I have to walk from my office to the front to mail something, it takes me FOREVER because I have to waddle the entire way. I do it hoping it'll relieve some of the stress in my back from sitting all day, but after I'm done I just want to lay down! People ask me if I plan on working up to the due date. At first I was all "Yeah, of course." --Well kinda because with the holiday being on a Thursday... I'm just taking a "long weekend" before my maternity leave officially starts on July 8th. But if the holiday fell after her due date, then yes, I would work up to that. Now though, every day is a STRUGGLE to get out of bed it seems like. I'm still planning on working as much as I can up to July 3rd. But there are days where I COMPLETELY understand wanting to take off now and just relax this last month. I wish I could afford to do that. Mentally and financially. Even if money weren't an issue (Oh that'd be the day!!), I think I would go bonkers sitting at home alone all day with no "purpose." So it's 40 hr weeks for the next 3 and a half weeks.

Shoes. Seriously, with one month left, my tennis shoes DO NOT FIT! I thought they were just a little snug on the side, so I had a girl I work with loosen the laces for me. But nope. With 4 weeks left to go, I almost have to go up a 1/2 size in my tennies! I am refusing for now though. I'll make do at work as long as I can, and on weekends it's either my Roxy flip flops (because they have so much padding on the bottom---HEAVEN!) or barefoot-and-pregnant!

So those are all the bad things I have been experiencing. I have really tried to be positive on here. Writing mostly about the good parts of the pregnancy. But here lately I've realized that these not-so-fun aspects are part of it too. They are the parts people skim over when they tell you about pregnancy. The parts you read about and think "Yeah, sure. Okay." But to go through them is entirely different!

**Don't worry: Part 2 is all the good things lately!**

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Emmaleigh Grace

Emmaleigh Grace